Long before Johnny rediscovered his Mellencamp, the Cougar did a good line in pain. Hurts So Good might not be the best anthem for the A-League but it certainly strikes a chord.
That's not to say there aren't positive signs on the domestic front. After a dismal start, Victory and Sydney have acquitted themselves admirably in the latest round of the AFC, while the season past delivered a feast of attacking football.
Off-field, though, fans were subjected to the usual ulcer-inducing travails: club ownership wobbles; struggles to get numbers through the gates; the demise of everyone's second favourite club, the Fury; and the sudden realisation that the much vaunted "expansion" was really code for club debt.
In the end it was Australia's bid for the world's sporting showpiece that possibly landed the knockout blow. We went along for the ride or were taken for a ride, whatever, it wasn't the expected fillip for the local game. As it turned out the FFA bought a ticket to Blatter's World Cup Mystery Tour and lost the A-League along the way.
The talk is that Season 7 will see the game's governing body right the balance but I wouldn't get my hopes up - it hurts too much. Better to be pleasantly surprised. Pessimism has always been Australian football's best inoculation against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune (yes, it is Shakespearean in the breadth of tragedy).
I confess to a kind of morbid anticipation in what might be lurking around the corner, but sitting on your hands waiting for the worst to happen is absolutely the wrong response. Make up your own disaster scenarios, I say, and whatever football throws at you can't possibly be as bad.
Granted, not everyone has the time to fritter away contemplating potential banana skins six months down the track so, in the interests of Aussie football fans, I've taken on the task. To ward off any unwarranted bouts of optimism, and let's face it we're all susceptible to that particular lurgy when kick-off approaches, I've drafted a list. Here it is -12 reasons to worry in the off-season:
1. AFL and Rugby League massively extend their seasons leaving the A-League a two-and-a-half week window in January to cram the entire fixture list without resorting to the dreaded overlap.
2. After buying up three more cash-strapped A-league clubs Clive Palmer promptly slaps a crowd cap on all games prohibiting entry to anyone who isn't riding a unicycle.
3. Clive Palmer arrives on a unicycle.
4. To assist clubs rein in spiralling debt the FFA farms out next season's kit designs as a job lot to the Byron Bay women's collective which launches an innovative hemp and henna collection.
5. Ljubo - enough said.
6. Three A-League players are presented with the prestigious UN Humanitarian Award for the Empowerment of Oppressed Peoples but the story is bumped off the back pages when the entire Roosters squad is caught urinating on Coogee Beach.
7. Clubs - will there be any?
8. In a massive coup, and with much hoopla, the Sydney FC board secures the El Clasico for Homebush but the expected crowd surge fails to materialise when it looks like rain.
9. Perth Glory fans go rabid with hope thinking this will definitely be their season and after much agonising by club doctors they are rounded up in The Shed and humanely euthanised.
10. With a dazzling grasp of football knowledge Ben Buckley makes it through to the final round of Celebrity Sports CEO only to lose the crown to a bullish Andrew Demetriou when he can't pick out Western Sydney on a map.
11. In order to keep the lid on "violent" crowd conduct Victorian police and in-house security muscle, Hatamoto, announce the trial of a world-first time delay system whereby fans are ushered into Etihad Stadium 15 minutes after the game concludes.
12. FFA discovers why its fan engagement program flopped after a database mix-up sends tens of thousands of "where the bloody hell are you" emails to customers on the Westfield Shopper Loyalty program.
So there it is. Knowing it can't possibly get that bad makes Season 7 seem brighter already, right?
