ROBINA, December 2012: Jason Culina has apparently walked out on Gold Coast United, citing irreconcileable differences with incoming coach Graham Arnold, who took over when the FFA wrested control back from billionaire Clive Palmer.

A late night disagreement over pizza toppings at Tio Franco's Emporium in Surfers Paradise is believed to have escalated into a full-blown brawl involving the entire Gold Coast squad. Witnesses said Arnold's decision to order a dozen Triple Supreme Deluxes might have been the straw that broke the marquee's back.

"Culina just stood there shaking his wee head," said one ginger-haired customer who did not want to be named.

"The new CEO tried to calm him down, saying something about heirarchy and systems of authority, but Culina just glared at him.

"Then Scotty Higgins tried to crack a joke about 'Roar prawns' and Culina went totally berserk."

"It was pretty awesome," agreed Jim the Ballon Man, who was plying his trade outside the pizzeria.

"One moment there was this eerie silence that settled over the whole of Surfers. The next moment, boom! There were pizza pans, lasagne trays, gelato cones, and loaves of garlic bread flying all over the place."

Around 30 local police rushed to the scene, where two groups of players, lead by Culina and Arnold, were said to be hurling insults and pizza at each other from either side of Cavill Avenue.

A dozen people were allegedly taken into custody, most of them tourists from Middle Eastern countries who just happened to be walking past.

A spokeswoman for Tio Franco's explained that it wasn't the first time the Triple Supreme Deluxe had caused trouble.

"You gotta lotta action going down right there on top of a T.S.D. mate," he said.

"Guacamole, chilli peppers, avocado, anchovies, artichokes, sardines, pineapple, pepperoni, poached egg, even a bit of wasabi ice cream. If it doesn't cause you trouble at the table, it's a-gonna cause you trouble later."

Culina's agent Charlie M. Miller insisted that it was important for sports stars to maintain a healthy diet.

"Unfortunately, we have some people running clubs in Australia who just don't know much about the game," he said, wiping a sauce stain from his Armani suit.

"You look at the kind of culture Sir Craig Foster is bringing to the new West Sydney team, for example. Now that's really European. Garlic, cheese, tomato. Those are the basics. What's with all this triple deluxe nonsense anyway?"

Adelaide coach Miron Bleiberg successfully kept a lid on Culina's explosive temper until the dramatic 2010 Grand Final, where Culina received a red card after Kevin Muscat was awarded three consecutive penalties during stoppage time. Today Bleiberg refused to comment on his fallen star.

"All I can say is that Jason is a ham and pineapple kind of guy. Sweet and salty, just like me. Nothing over the top."

Culina is currently believed to be vacationing on a yacht with Tiger Woods, George W. Bush and J.D. Salinger, somewhere off South Stradbroke Island. His wife, children, neighbours, associates, friends, family, and former school-mates have all refused our repeated requests for more information.