THERE aren’t many people who can legitimately claim that they have to watch football each week for work, thereby exonerating them — much to their partner’s chagrin — of any lawn mowing, car washing, house painting, and [insert crap job here] duties.
Which is partly why I’m uber excited to say that I’m spending the next nine days watching back-to-back football matches.Before you start twitching with envy, there is a slight downside: it will also involve me wearing a fluoro green volunteer’s uniform bum bag.
I’ve spent hours obsessing about how to be a coolie in a bum bag this week. And how not to get rumbled on the train for my lunch money. One friend suggested simply not taking lunch money.
Others recommended putting decoy coins in my pockets but my real money in my shoe as it won’t fall out when they turn me upside down.
I thank everyone for their witty comments — if not their help — with the bum bag issue and have resigned myself to the fact that no one looks good in a bum bag. No one.
But more about that later.
The nine-day footballfest kicked off in storms-are-the-new-black Brisvegas where, you guessed it, there was a storm right on kick off. We got sufficiently saturated by the swirling rain, but not half as wet as ABC journalist Liz Deep-Jones and the ABC crew who braved the storm to deliver an authentic ‘it’s raining cats and dogs here’ match opening report.
Besides, with a bona fide sausage sizzle pitch-side, we were too excited about getting a pre-match feed complete with lashings of onions, mustard, and tomato sauce to care about the weather.
It didn’t upset the first-placed Roar Women either, as they took on Sydney in the top-of-the-table W-League clash. To cut to the chase, Roar Women won 3-0, and again I was proud to support a team that consistently performs.
I was even prouder when we saw Roar Women officials loan the Sydney bench spray jackets so they didn’t get drenched. And I was entertained by the girls in the crowd who were calling out to so many footballing friends that it turned into a jokey Marco Polo exercise.
The airhorn-touting guys braved the weather to sit on the Ballymore Hill again, and their faint ‘You’re shit, ah’ and subsequent airhorn toots just as the Sydney keeper connected with the ball drew wry chuckles from the bleachers-based crowd.
We also noticed that Jenna Tristram, Roar Women striker and star of the W-League advertising, sat in her team shirt and knee brace to support the team she now can’t play on for the remainder of the season. I’m not sure I could have been so composed had the roles been reversed — kudos to her.
Shortly after the match, I headed to Melbourne for a jam-packed eight days of football where I’m volunteering as a match reporter for the Homeless World Cup. If you haven’t heard about it, it’s — as the name suggests — the World Cup for homeless people.
Devised over a pint by Mel Young, co-founder of The Big Issue, Scotland and Harald Schmied, editor of Austrian street press Megaphone, the HWC aims through sport to inspire and empower people who, through various difficult circumstances, have found themselves homeless.
It’s going to be absolutely massive.
Think teams from 56 countries competing in what is truly — take note, Rebecca Wilson — the world game. Where language and socio-economic backgrounds are no barriers. Where participation and fair play are as (if not more) important than football skills.
But don’t get me wrong, these guys have skills. The pitches are tennis court-sized and the football style is street soccer: fast, dynamic, and passionate. The Street Socceroos, as the Australian team is known, are pumped to perform in front of their home crowd. Frankly, after hearing the team song — a reworked version of Waltzing Matilda that they sing at each match, regardless of the outcome — I’m pumped too.
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| Toni Whelan |
I can’t describe how stoked I am to be part of such a life-changing event and it’s fair to say that I’ll get just as much out of it as the competitors — maybe more. Indeed, given that my focus has largely been on how to wear a bum bag, I’m precisely the kind of person who needs to attend — and volunteer at — the Homeless World Cup.
My guess is that once play gets underway I’ll be too busy screaming support for the teams to give a fark about my lack of style. And I encourage you to come to Fed Square to do the same (Entry is free and HWC matches are wee 2 x 7-minute halves played in the centrally-located Federation Square and Birrarung Marr, so there’s every reason to get amongst it—even in your lunch break. For more information visit the HWC website.
If nothing else, it’s about football, fun, and the feel-good factor. I also welcome any bum bag wearing pointers.
When she’s not obsessing about wearing a bum bag, Fiona Crawford writes about football on her website.
