So, you think you’re a fan. Can you prove it?

When applying for a passport, bank account or drivers licence, the authorities demand you prove your identity through an elaborate points-based system. A hundred points of identification and the paper shufflers behind the counters accept that you are who you say you are. I wondered if a similar system could work for Roar fans.

Hence, inspired by the great Australian tradition of the lumbering bureaucracy, I present to you the Queensland Roar Proof of Fanaticism Test. A hundred points is enough for you to claim that you are an obsessed fanatic of Brisbane’s premier football team.

Between fifty and a hundred points allows you to be considered a devoted supporter of the club. Any less than fifty points and you probably don’t know your supporters end from your rear end.

With no further adieu, let us then begin.

2 points – for every home match you have attended this campaign, commencing with the friendly against Palmeiras. There are very few points on offer in this first section because attending home games is the duty of every fan. With crowd figures down across the league, it seems that many so-called fans have forgotten this basic tenet of football. However, just to be sporting, I will also offer five bonus points if you attended the Roar’s first A-League match against New Zealand Knights in 2005.
(My Score: 8 pts + 5 pts = 13 total)

10 points – for every authentic replica jersey that you own. Truly obsessed fans are more than willing to spend over a $100 on a shirt that they wear only to the match. If however, you are a fashion no-hoper (like your humble blogger) and wear your shirt on days other than match-days give yourself 5 bonus points and, possibly, a makeover.
(My Score: 20 pts + 5 pts = 38 total)

1 point – for every piece of other Roar-related merchandise you have misguidedly purchased. Flags, lapel pins, training shorts, baseball caps, socks and supporters polo shirts all count in this category. They are worth fewer points than the jerseys because they are cheaper and have a tendency to accumulate. I have no idea why I bought a flashing lapel pin, but I did, and for some odd reason I still wear it.
(My Score: 1 pts = 39 total)

5 points – if you have participated in any pre-game or half time entertainment. Unfortunately, this does not include leering for an inappropriate amount of time at the scantily clad samba dancers before the Palmeiras match. That just makes you a pervert. I should know - I did the same thing.
(My Score: 0 points = 39 total)

15 points – if you have risked life and limb by requesting they dedicate a television set at your local pub to showing an uneventful away match in the middle of the NRL or AFL finals series. Add an extra five points if this lead to a verbal or physical confrontation with an overweight, unshaven, sewerage plant worker in a shearer’s singlet (or similar stereotype) AND you stood your ground.
(My Score: 15 pts = 54 total)

20 points – if you have accosted a member of the team as they went about their mundane, day-to-day activities. This would include approaching Liam Reddy in the frozen food section of the supermarket even though you originally thought he might have been Michael Buble. This would not include those of you who are among the growing number of people who have punched Robbie Kruse at the Normanby Hotel.
(My Score: 0 pts = 54 total)

25 points – for using undue influence at your place of employment and convincing upper management to fork out for a corporate box. 5 bonus points if you got a little emotional (read as drunk and belligerent) and were banned from the box for the rest of the season after only a handful of games.
(My Score: 0 pts = 54 total)

40 points – for attending an away game. This is the hallmark of any true fan. Some trips may be easier and cheaper than the others but the players always appreciate away support. Give yourself a bonus 15 points if by attending an away match you played truant from a family wedding, business function, friend’s birthday or obscure religious festival.
(My Score: 0 pts = 54 total)

75 points - if you have named one of your children after a Queensland Roar player. I’m not just talking about calling them Craig or Frank either. No, the child’s given names should be the same as a players name appears in the match-day programme. I do not have any children (at least, as far as I know) so I have been unable to saddle my child with the rather fetching moniker, Hyuk-Su Seo Flynn. I think I will need to find a very special lady who is willing to agree to that one.
(My Score: 0 pts = 54 total)

100 points – for the grandest gesture of them all. Consider yourself a fanatic if you have the club logo tattooed on any part of your body. I have heard rumours that a few of these do actually exist and it seems only fair to reward that kind of devotion. Do I have one? No, I am what the French call a coward.
(My Score: 0 pts = 54 total)

45 points – if you write a blog devoted to Queensland Roar for a highly respected football magazine and have the ability to rig this quiz in any way that you see fit.
(My Score: 45pts = 99 total)

There you have it. It was close but I qualify as a devoted, yet not tragically obsessed, supporter of Queensland Roar FC. How did you do? Feel free to post your scores in the comments section below.