THE THUGBY league season is upon us—something that’s been impossible to miss between the alleged alcohol-infused sexual harassment of a 17-year-old and the fact that, much to my ‘nobody told me there was a Broncos match on’ dismay, I inadvertently got stuck in Broncos v Cowboys traffic on Friday night.

And if I wasn't already sure that thugby league fans are, well, a little different, a particularly large, particularly inebriated fan proved it when he sat on my car bonnet and scooted his suspension-buckling ass its entire breadth as he zigzagged to the stadium. And then yelled ‘show us your tits' as he lifted his shirt and jiggled his manboobs.

Rebecca Wilson would be proud.

But his post-butt shuffle celebration did get me thinking about football celebrations in general-the good, the bad, and the bra baring.

Avoidance Tactics

Maybe it's an act of look-at-me glory-hogging selfishness or simply a burst of excitement that propels their legs forward, but I've never understood a goalscorer's decision to celebrate by running away from their team mates. Unless, of course, they've got their arms outspread like an aeroplane, in which case running towards team mates could result in some serious coat hangering.

Dancing and/or Compromising the Corner Flag

This one takes many forms, from moonwalking or doing the robot to samba-ing or Elvis-legging it around the corner flag. Dishonorable mention must go to Archie Thompson's lame-o flag boxing effort, but I've already covered that in previous blogs. The moral of the story? Flag boxing is not cool.

The Triple-Pike, Three-Quarter-Twist Backflip

Sure, it's impressive, but it's all body-contorting aerodynamic fun and games until someone slips and breaks their neck. I'm surprised that there aren't ‘no gymnastics' clauses in players' contracts. Although Melbourne Victory would do well to issue a ‘no flag boxing' clause for the aforementioned Mr Thompson...

The Klinsmann

The tradition of diving onto the pitch with legs and arms outstretched was reportedly kicked off by Jurgen Klinsmann-a satire on his (apparently) undeserved reputation for diving to milk penalties. Pulling a Klinsmann also invariably leads to a sweaty stacks on. Did someone say broken ribs and ewwwww?

It's All About The Bra

But my all-time favourite celebration is from American female footballer Brandi ‘It's Not About The Bra' Chastain, who may or may not have been the inspiration for Keira Knightley's bra-baring character in Bend It Like Beckham (ok, it probably had more to do with Knightley's body, but hey).

Defender and dual knee reconstruction survivor Chastain stepped up to take the fifth and match-deciding penalty in the 1999 World Cup final between the USA and China. She scored and was so thoroughly stoked that she yanked off her shirt* and dropped to her knees in celebration before running towards (note that that's towards) her team mates (check it out on YouTube-it's 1:27 in).

The iconic bra-baring image was featured on the covers of heavy-hitting magazines Time, Newsweek, and Sports Illustrated, and Chastain herself has both a book and a website entitled ‘It's Not About The Bra' proving that it is, indeed, all about the bra.

And what now of the famous black sports bra? It's on display in the Sports Museum of America in New York. Given the ample jiggle in his cleavage, thugby's Manboob Man would do well to borrow it for the next Broncos game.

* The powers that be have since cracked down on any shirt removal as football is a global game and some cultures may find such flesh flashing offensive. That may be so, but I personally find the shirts remaining on decision totally pants. If I had abs like Chastain's - or any other professional footballer for that matter - I'd take my shirt off too.

When Fiona Crawford isn't stuck in thugby league traffic, she's writing about football