I don't wish to tempt fate by discussing this Friday's match against Central Coast Mariners as I am almost certain that no matter what I say, the opposite will surely occur.
Instead, this week's blog will forget about Friday night and instead focus on Saturday, February 14 - better known as Valentine's Day.
That's right, that one day of the year where the lovelorn can approach the object of their desire with a gesture that makes the recipient incredibly uncomfortable and destroys their previously cordial, yet stoically platonic, relationship to such an extent that they can no longer stand to be in the same room together.
It is truly a magical time when the naïve and foolish can learn what it is like to be rejected by someone they thought would care - kind of like Mark Milligan prancing around Europe in search of a contract.
Now, you might wonder where I am going with this. This blog is, after all, supposedly about Queensland Roar and yet here I am prattling on about Valentine's Day. You might even hazard a guess that I am about to single out a member of the fabulously talented Queensland Roar women's team and make a git of myself all over the internet.
Well you would be wrong, for the object of my desire - the person that I choo-choo-choose if you will - is Roary, Queensland Roar's beloved lion mascot. Mainly (pun completely intended) because courtesy of his affable character I simply know he won't reject my affections. He's just that kind of lion.
First up, I understand that some of you may not be Queensland fans and might need some background information about my furry little valentine. Hence, for your benefit, Roary is a person in a lion suit that shows up at official Roar events and alternatively enthrals, delights or scares the bejesus out of small children depending upon the child's disposition.
Roary is also a good sport when it comes to the big kids who like to have one beer too many and make a goose of themselves by hugging him while a friend takes a blurry photograph with their mobile phone. And yes, I will admit, that I am aware of this because I have done it on three separate occasions.
So, with the background out of the way, let me just establish that my profession of love for Roary is completely platonic and in no way warrants a phone call to whatever branch of the police force deals with perverts with a fixation on people in lion suits.
I would also like to let it be known that it has nothing to do with whoever is inside the suit. My love and respect for Roary arises from what he adds to each and every single home game - i.e. good old-fashioned, family fun.
One of the great things about Queensland Roar is the way it positions itself as a family friendly football club. Home games can certainly be joyful family outings thanks, in no small part, to Roary. The boys and girls, and by default their mums and dads, all get a little excited when they see Roary outside the gates in the hour before kick-off. They hug him, they pull his tail and they give him high-fives as his mere presence brightens up their day and adds just that little something extra to their trip to the football.
From the club's point of view Roary is an invaluable marketing resource. He provides a name and a face that exists beyond just match day. He is at fan open days, school promotional visits and even tags along with the players to visit sick children in hospital. However, unlike the players, he will never request a transfer or be shown the door with a change of manager - he is there for the long haul. He is Queensland Roar through-and-through.
Roary even has a section on the club's website where the kids can download an official activity book full of those things we all loved when we were young - colouring-in, dot-to-dot and spot the difference games. In this regard, Queensland is unquestionably a league leader as I was unable to find anything similar on the other official A-League club websites.
As for me personally, how do I love Roary? Well let me count the ways.
• Roary's mane is blue with a bright yellow stripe down the middle. I'm not sure if that means he is a punk rocker or a closet Cyndi Lauper fan. Although either way, I respect his individuality.
• Roary is infinitely more cool than the Brisbane Lions AFL team's lion mascot - Bernie "Gabba" Vegas. Bernie is little more than a try-hard as evidenced by his name, his sunglasses, his flared pants and his slicked back mane.
• Roary could also kick the arse of that muppet, Goleo, who was the official mascot for the 2006 FIFA World Cup. Also, unlike Goleo, Roary has the decency to wear pants.
• Roary can express the complete range of human-lion emotions throughout a game without speaking a word. Not impressed? Well, you trying staying silent at the football and see how far you get.
So that's my open profession of respect and adulation for Roary - the loveable lion who lightens up the football for so many fans of so many differing ages. He certainly is one of the unsung heroes of a club that, barring disaster on Friday night, should qualify for their second successive Preliminary Final.
Also, and as a final Valentine's Day related note, I would like to add that if the pretty, young thing that makes me coffee every weekday happens to read this - my profession of platonic love for a lion mascot does not make me a stark, raving nutcase. I am really only just disturbed enough to make me interesting.
