I AM usually a pretty easy-going guy.

Thanks to my British roots, I can quite happily wait in a queue. Due to my lack of muscle, I have never picked a fight. And, being a regular visitor to Suncorp Stadium, I have even learned to smile following a defeat.

Sometimes though, even one as meek as I must vent their frustrations. Therefore, I present to you, in no particular order, the worst signings of Queensland Roar’s relatively brief history.

Osvaldo Carro
What’s that? You say you don’t remember this Uruguayan pretender. Well count yourself lucky as I am still trying to forget he ever graced the A-League. Signed midway through Roar’s first season, the midfielder’s first performance was promising. However, once opposition teams realised that simple man marking rendered him as impotent as an inbred Dalmatian he was really only making up the numbers.

Carro left with little fanfare at the end of that first season and now plies his trade in the Uruguayan second division. I cannot help but think that the lower classes of Uruguay may have it bad enough without having to watch this hack on a regular basis.

Remo Buess
He is the man that brought the world-renowned Swiss principle of neutrality to the Queensland Roar defensive line. Playing at left back, he was unwilling to tackle anyone that ran at him, making him about as useful as tits on a bull. Slow and lumbering in his manner, he was dubbed ‘Rabbitoh’ Buess, because he could be beaten by just about anyone.

Released by the club at the end of season two, Buess went back to his Swiss homeland and promptly retired from the beautiful game. I would say it was no great loss to football, that is, if I thought it was any kind of loss at all.

Jonti Richter
Jonti, or Jonathan as he apparently now prefers, was as quick as a whippet and sported one of the more interesting haircuts in the league. Beyond that, the young striker provided nothing of value for fans in Queensland’s first season. He even failed to stand out upon moving to New Zealand Knights the following year. His notorious inability to shoot straight stoked unseemly rumours that the poor lad needed to sit down to pee.

Richter tried to make it with English Conference North team Tamworth FC last season but failed to stand out even amongst a bunch of part-timers. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was unable to make the grade with Tamworth FC in northern NSW either.

Yuning Zhang
This list would mean little without a swipe at the “Chinese Beckham”. He was loaned to Queensland Roar because he was deemed a disruptive influence at his previous club. Criminal links, car accidents and media hype may be deemed acceptable in some Australian football codes, but it would appear that the Chinese Super League has higher standards.

As for his Queensland career, I saw him play a sublime backheel on debut and that was pretty much it. His tendency to smoke more than a Chinese coal-fired power station meant his fitness was non-existent. His lack of professionalism was further highlighted by his mid-season elopement to China to marry his sweetheart. It was just as well really, as he had little hope of receiving any love from the Queensland terraces if he had stayed.

Chad Gibson
Perhaps not the most obvious of choices, but much was expected from Gibson. A solid career in the NSL saw him become one of the Roar’s very first signings and he was bestowed the honour of being the club’s inaugural captain. Unfortunately, the only time he was seen to lead the team was out of the tunnel at the start of a match.

The biggest highlight of his stint at the club was an appearance in a Top 50 Hottest Sports Stars list. My female friends have assured me that, just like the captain’s armband, it was an accolade that he simply didn’t deserve.

Is there somebody that I left out that you think deserves to be on the list? Perhaps there is someone you believe I have unfairly maligned? If so, post your comments and let me know.