I HAVE two avenues through which I can vent my murderous levels of rage and frustration: the first is at John Aloisi's wages, which could otherwise be spent on roads and hospitals and the second is at Football Manager 2009, which I have just quit and reinstalled for the umpteenth time – don't ask.
In what may come as a surprise to the teeming masses of FourFourTwo blog disciples, I sympathise with the former.Sure, John is currently giving a wonderful impression of Patrick Kluivert post France '98 (The Newcastle United version *cue "Pyscho" music*) but the poor fellow is surrounded by a side who appear to have the tactical sophistication of Neil Warnock (gotta love the big 'N').
I really did feel sorry for the 32 year-old when he walked off to a chorus of boos: people abusing one of their own is a sign that things just aren't going well for the spot-kick immortal.
Was I the only one who thought Iain Fyfe deserved at least three-quarters of the Moore Park expletives? Honestly, I think the man was trying to play the offside trap when Rukavytsya waltzed to the by-line to set up Pellegrino for the opener – from a THROWN IN.
And one wonders exactly what match John Kosmina must have been watching from the sidelines?
Perhaps he too has played so much Football Manager that he fails to distinguish between football reality and fantasy (though Sydney FC are as bad on the game as they are in real life...)
Anyway, it would be easy to sit here and tear through Sydney for their general ineptitude, so instead I'll focus my attentions on a certain Eugene Dadi.
Does anyone else think this man deserves his own religion?
Sure, there have been some pretty amazing people who have advanced humanity throughout the history of the universe: Moses freed the slaves, Mandela ended apartheid, Christopher Walken became an actor.
But all of these people pale in comparison to Dadi.
I mean, just the name Dadi screams "fanatical following" doesn't it?
He's like a suave version of Dylan Macallister (honestly Dyl, the hair just ain't happenin') with a cool name: "Who's your Dadi?"
Not only should we nationalise Dadi so that he can captain the Socceroos, I motion to the government that the constitution be changed so that it clearly states that:
- Eugene Dadi is the ultimate emperor and omnipotent ruler of Australia for eternity
- The Union Jack and Southern Cross (who needs them anyway?) are replaced with Eugene Dadi on the national flag
- That instead of the "The Boxing Kangaroo", our sporting symbol becomes "The Boxing Dadi"
- That every child born in Australia henceforth is to be named Eugene (boy) or Eugenia (girl)
- That the national anthem is renamed "Advance Australia Dadi"
- That "Dadi FC" is formed purely out of Eugene Dadi clones
- And that the A-League is renamed the "D-League" (Dadi League)
My standard question of the week:
If you were stranded on a deserted island and had a choice between Eugene Dadi and a football, or a copy of Football Manager 2009 (with a laptop built specifically for the purpose of playing Football Manager 2009), which would you choose?
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