PEOPLE respond to an humiliating football defeat in many ways. Some drink, smash things and hurl abuse, others favour crying, making cupcakes and singing along with The Smiths.
It's fair to say I sampled at least half of the options above last Thursday, but none proved very successful. Still, at least I don't have the unenviable job of speaking to the media, not to mention somehow rallying my team to face Kawasaki again next week.
These stressful tasks are the lot of coaches and captains, who must somehow restore their team's shattered confidence and rebuild club pride. Alex Wilkinson, the youngest captain in the A-League, looked shell-shocked after the match.
"We were expecting a very tough game," he said "but we just didn't compete. We sat off them too much and they tore us to shreds. We've made it tough for ourselves but we'll regroup and hopefully they'll underestimate us a bit now."
Although clearly upset, Lawrie somehow retained his sense of humour. When asked by a Japanese journalist which Kawasaki players particularly impressed him he answered, "only eleven of them."
What impressed me most was the Mariners fans, who largely chose to stay and support their team to the bitter end rather than leave early. Perhaps, like me, they were all so numb with disbelief they simply couldn't move.
Equally impressive were the colourful, energetic Kawasaki supporters who were a credit to their team and a joy to watch. I'm told Kawasaki played some beautiful football but I'm afraid I just haven't been able to bring myself to watch the video yet. Somehow it's difficult to appreciate fluid passing when the team you love is being decimated.
The truth is, there is only one cure for football pain and that's football pleasure, if not your own then someone else's. I started to feel better when I watched Wolves score against Southampton in the first 25 seconds, then twice more in the next 15 minutes. I was swept up in the unbridled excitement among the cheering, jumping fans who knew they were heading for the EPL next season.
But what really brought The Mariners loss into perspective for me was the realisation that this week marks the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.
I can remember with terrible clarity that I woke up on Sunday 16th April, 1989 to hear the news on my bedside clock radio. In those ancient days before the internet it took some time before the unimaginable horror was seen on that evening's news.
Ninety-sixLiverpool fans had been killed and some 400 more injured at an FA Cup Semi Final against Notts Forest. Due to a complete failure of crowd control, spectators had been crammed into terraces that were too small for the number of fans and unable to escape due to high fencing around the pitch.
Fans were left to desperately try and help others escape, both onto the pitch and into the stands above. There was very little medical help available and no way to get ambulances onto the pitch. Spectators were forced to tear down advertising hoardings to use as makeshift stretchers.
The Hillsborough disaster revealed how decrepit and neglected many stadiums were and above all, the complete disrespect English society had at that time for football fans who were regarded as drunken hooligans.
English football writer David Goldblatt notes that while stadiums were dangerously outdated, 'the only significant change came in the architecture of segregation, control and surveillance.
" CCTV cameras arrived, perimeter fences got spikes and the terraces were increasingly divided into smaller high-fenced cages, which suggested a mode of crowd control that took the livestock market and the slaughterhouse as its model.' *
It was this very attitude to 'controlling' fans that caused their deaths and injuries, this presumption that they were little more than 'pack animals and dogs'.* Although spectator behaviour had not contributed to the disaster, fans were almost immediately accused by the authorities and several tabloid newspapers. A very long judicial enquiry finally established their innocence.
Steven Gerrard lost his 10 year old cousin that day, and says he plays for him. Personally, I will never forget the two teenage sisters Victoria and Sarah Hicks, who went to the match with their parents and both lost their lives - they might have been my sister and I.
Their father, Trevor, started the Hillsborough Family Support Group while their mother Jenni says she touches her daughters' names on the Shankly Rd memorial every match day before taking her seat in The Kop.
Let's forget our own petty losses for a moment and remember the Hillsborough families this week.
A special memorial service will be held this Wednesday afternoon UK time at Anfield, broadcast by BBC Radio Merseyside and a charity cd of "The Fields of Anfield Rd" will be released by Liverpool artists.
(*Goldblatt, David, "The Ball Is Round", p.599)
