IT'S BEEN a wild, wonderful, frantic and frustrating week. And nobody knows that better than the Townsville seamstresses who are now frantically stitching "Queensland Nickel" company logos onto NQ Fury shirts.
In case you missed it, Clive Palmer's new mining company dished up half a milllion schmackos in last-minute funding to Fury . No doubt that helped secure a contract for ex-Leicester City goalkeeper Paul Henderson. Fury might even have enough spare change to sign Shane Steffanutto. And with those two on board, plus Fowler et al, they might even be an outside chance for the top four.
So what's Big Clive up to? Why would you give such a boost to your second-nearest-and-dearest rivals? Has Professor Palmer lost his marbles? Is he having a bet each way? Is this some evil plot to rig the competition? Or is this just a magnanimous gesture of support from a generous billionaire who has suddenly taken the beautiful game to heart?
I've been watching Queensland's richest man closely since he took the GCU helm. I've had a Google Alert delivering me "Clive Palmer" news for many months. So maybe I have some idea what's going on here.
Notice that the new Fury logos look eerily similar to the Gold Coast motifs. Both graphics are crudely functional rather than aesthetic gems. That's Clive Palmer all over, always keeping it simple and cutting to the chase.
Notice too that the arrows on both logos point to the right, not the left. Again, that's Clive Palmer, a man not lacking in direction, and a major supporter of right-wing politics in Queensland for many years.
From what I've read, Clive was still a skinny, somewhat insecure youth when he decided he needed a few dollars to impress a girl named Sue. Maybe it was just luck, but more likely it was sheer intelligence that helped him see that Gold Coast real-estate was set to take off in the 1970s. He became a real estate agent after lying about his age to get the job.
Within a few years Clive was an integral part of a group of developers nicknamed the White Shoe Brigade who pressured Joh Bjelke-Pietersen's National Party government to OK massive growth on the glitter strip. Within a few more years, Clive was a millionaire. And the girl named Sue was his wife.
He retired at the age of 29, but quickly got fat and bored. In the mid-80's he read that Russia was keen to do joint venture deals in iron ore, so he set up a mining company, took out a lease in the Pilbara, and flew off to Russia to meet with President Gorbachov. Or something like that.
At any rate, he was perfectly positioned for another boom. The millionaire quickly became a billionaire, as the Australian economy rode the Chinese dragon's back over two decades of economic growth fuelled by mining exports.
So what's all this got to do with football?
Well, folks, here we are at the start of another boom. Football is set to explode in this sports-mad country, and rival codes are already beginning to disintegrate. Clive can see which way the wind's blowing, and he's perfectly positioned to ride another storm - all the way to the bank. Moreover, he's having a lot of fun.
But that still doesn't quite explain the $500K present to Los Del Norte, does it? To understand that, you have to think Public Relations.
Until now, Clive has been such a private individual that a Wikipedia search serves up a British banjo player before the new Gold Coast United boss. I suspect Clive has quickly realised that a good reputation goes a long way in the Australian sporting community, and he's keen to dampen down the negative press his recent promotional activities have generated. Like they say, it's all good fun until someone gets hurt.
But a more important consideration is surely the P.R. for his mining companies. If people in Far North Queensland start hating the Gold Coast's brash owner (as one green-faced FFT blogger will attest) then it's going to be hard for Clive to grow his business in the Townsville region (particularly with Anna Bligh in Brisbane and Kevin Rudd in Canberra). And Clive has an absolutely massive project, unfortunately titled "China First", that is going to need a whole lot of community support.
So here's half a million to calm the waters, give the new Fury franchise a chance to be competitive, and get the Australian football community on side. And here are some pay-rises for the Queensland Nickel team to boot. It's not radical altruism, but it's not sheer unadulterated greed either.
It's hard for me to say this, because politically I despise everything Clive Palmer stands for, but I've seen him up close a few times and he seems like a decent bloke at heart. As he said himself: "It's not my fault that I've unfortunately got so much money.
"It's just that we've had big projects and we've applied ourselves as best we can and they've worked. That's not such a bad thing."
Clive is still thinking big, maybe bigger than ever. But maybe a little Jimmeny Cricket at the back of his earthly chariot is now tapping him on the shoulder and whispering in his ear: "Remember that you are mortal."
The girl named Sue died of cancer five years ago. At the age of 55, Clive now has a new wife named Anna, a new baby named Mary, and a new club called Gold Coast United.
I reckon we Queenslanders should all give the big guy a chance. Clive Palmer might just be the best thing that's happened to Australian football since another controversial billionaire came along to kickstart the A-League.
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Talking points for the politically indifferent:
1. Miron Bleiberg to take Ben Buckley's FFA job within 5 years. Whaddaya reckon? Yes, No, Maybe?
2. Who made the biggest impression on the TV news, Frank Farina or Miron's cardboard cutout?
3. Speaking of Steffanutto, let's not forget that Clive Palmer was the guy who wanted to sign a whole team of Socceroos. In October last year, when Australia played Qatar in Brisbane, Clive boasted that he was in talks with six Socceroos and everybody laughed. But look who has come to the A-League since then: Culina, Sterjovski, Burns, Coyne, ... and now Steffanutto?! All these guys were talking to Gold Coast United way back when.
4. Let's be honest. Considering it is our very first game and the team is still gelling, Brisbane Roar have a fair chance to beat Gold Coast this weekend. In fact, even though I'm tipping a 5-0 victory to Gold Coast, it is probably the best chance Roar will get all season. The only danger will come when Jason Culina's away on Socceroos duty, especially since quite a few other Gold Coast players could be joining him. I thought the team was looking good before Culina arrived, but obviously the movement around the pitch is totally different with Culina calling the shots. Now I'm worried that the team will get so used to Culina's presence that they won't be able to cope without him. Fortunately we have another midfeild maestro called Zenon Caravella who can play the same role.
5. Finally, a timely quote from Mahatma Gandhi: "First they laugh at you, then they hate you, then you win."
