I FOUND it hard to summon any enthusiasm this week for the quibbling over where the inaugural Brisbane v Gold Coast derby will be played. Instead, all I could think was: quit your moaning—at least you have a draw.
Because if you want to complain about interminably long off-seasons and unfavourable draws, spare a thought for W-League fans. Season 1 started late in October 2008 and wrapped up a mere 10 rounds + finals later in January 2009. That's approximately four fewer months of football viewing pleasure than delivered by the A-League and eight months of women's football-watching wasteland. And don't even get me started on the fact that only one W-League match was broadcast each week.
So what to do in the downtime? Watch breakout football film Bend It Like Beckham. The film follows football-obsessed Jess Bhamra who goes from kickabouts in the park to joining West London women's football team, the Hounslow Harriers. Of course, in the process she is befriended by all-round hottie and fellow football-obsessed Keira Knightley, falls for her spunk of a coach, Joe (played by brooding Jonathan Rhys Meyer), and aspires to play football professionally, despite her parents' reservations about what good Indian girls should do.
It sounds like a chick flick and it is, but there haven't been many films starring football-playing women-before or since - and certainly none with such broad appeal. Football is experiencing explosive growth in Australia, has reportedly overtaken netball as the number one women's sport in the UK, and India has launched a women's football league. Parminder Nagra (Jess) even beat such professional footballers as Ronaldo to become the first female to win the 2002 FIFA International Football Personality of the Year Presidential award in honour of the role she played in increasing the profile of women's football.
Plenty of guys also appreciate the film-whether for the Knightley crop-topped eye candy, the inspiring, comedic storyline, or both-and rewatching it the other night I was reminded that there's more to this film than chick flick feelgood-ness:
- Keira Knightley has impossibly good abs.
- The offside rule can be explained using condiments: 'Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.'
- There are shops in England that sell women's football boots (no, I still haven't found a pair and no, I will not be taking pot luck by ordering from a blurry thumbnail online).
- Girls can play football. And make a career out of it.
- Goalkeepers must be made to look like gumbies for the sake of a good goal-scoring story.
- Hot guys might overlook hot chicks like Knightley for the girl next door (we can dream).
- Girls sit around the dressing room discussing football in their underwear (guys can dream).
- Bend It Like Beckham isn't quite as PG as it makes out. He might say it with a straight face, but coach Joe comments that it's lucky that Jess plays up front: 'Jules (Keira Knightley) could do with some good service'.
Service aside, count me out for the quibbling about game venues and Palmer cementing the GCU's 'A-League's Most Hated' status by attempting to buy Roar fans' support-until the season starts, I'll be looking for non-PG innuendo and aspiring to develop some Knightley-esque abs.
