Q. WHAT do you call a guy who hangs around football players?

A. A goalkeeper.

Goalkeepers, like drummers, are often the butt of cruel and demeaning jokes. Probably because, like drummers, we find their ability so astounding and incomprehensible that we choose to make fun of them, rather than glorify them.

But let's face it - being a goalkeeper is probably the toughest position in football. How many times have we seen goalkeepers unfairly (*cough* Branko Culina *cough*) blamed for defeats? And what about all the hassle they get from opposition players at corners/free kicks (Sasho Petrovski, I'm looking at you)?

However, probably the toughest part of being a goalkeeper is breaking into the first team. Which is pretty difficult under the current rules and regulations regarding youth goalkeepers.

It occurred to me the other day, while I was doing some menial task like unloading the dishwasher, that the rules for goalkeepers in the National Youth League are completely different to other players.

The current rules state that every youth player must get a minimum of 30 minutes game time and that a maximum of 4 overage players are allowed to play per match.

Despite this, many goalkeepers signed to youth contracts don't seem to be getting any time on the park at all. I'm not 100% sure whether the rules ARE different for goalkeepers, but it would seem apparent that they are.

Take, for example, Adelaide United, who signed 2 youth keepers at the beginning of the season - Codey Larkin and Nick Munro. However, we're 7 rounds into the competition and Munro hasn't started for the team yet. Also, Larkin has only started 2 games. The rest of the game time has gone to Mark Birighitti.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a bit unfair?

Birighitti is technically not overage, however, the fact that he gets 90 minutes when the actual youth keepers don't get any time at all is unreasonable.

Okay, overage and/or senior squad members are allowed to play in NYL matches. But surely it is more equitable to give all the keepers at least 30 minutes on the park, just like the other players?

Of course, the situation at Adelaide is not happening in every NYL team. Sydney FC have been giving the majority of NYL game time to their youth keeper Nenad Vekic. And while his number 2 Mark Pullman hasn't had much time, at least they're giving regular starts to Vekic, rather than out of favour Ivan Necevski.

The situation at clubs like Adelaide, however, could potentially lead to problems. If a youth keeper is never playing, how is he going to get match practice? How will he be spotted by any scouts? How will his coach know how he can cope in pressure situations?

So, how should this problem be combated?

Well, quite simply, the player regulations need to change. All youth players, including goalkeepers, should get at least 30 minutes game time. This won't stop teams from starting senior squad keepers but it would go a long way to helping the youth keepers actually play.

Think about it - for all we know the next Mark Schwarzer could be benchwarming in the National Youth League!

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"They said WHAT?!" - Top 10 Quotes About Keepers

(Credit to ‘The Football Quotes Page' - http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Palms/6687/quotesframes.html))

10. "I think you've gotta have a bit of stupidity to play in goals, personally." - Cheryl Salisbury
9. "He has a great understanding of where the goalkeeper is in relationship to the goal." - David Pleat
8. "The ball goes down the keeper's throat where it hits him on the knees to say the least" - Ron Atkinson
7. "Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late 20s or 30s." - Kevin Keegan
6. "The keeper was unsighted - he still didn't see it!" - Ron Atkinson
5. "The keeper was coming out in instalments." - Joe Royle
4. "If the goalkeeper wasn't there, it would've been a goal. - Dave Bassett
3. "Our keeper only had one save to make but we lost 4-0." - Craig Brown
2. "If you're a goalkeeper, it doesn't matter what you save the ball with - if you keep it out, it's not a goal." - Mark Lawrenson

And now, number 1

"That's often the best place to beat a goalkeeper, isn't it, between the legs?" - Clive Tyldesley