Four groups, nine stadiums, 16 teams, 32 matches: we now know the 2011 Women's World Cup draw, with Australia set to take on Brazil, Norway, and the team I'll now forever know as 'the Man-Fielding Equatorial Who'.
The hallowed draw moment took place at 5.45am AEDT in host city Frankfurt this morning, with those of us who got up for the event waiting with baited breath and praying not to end up the always present 'group of death'.
The result is that Group A comprises host nation Germany, Canada, Nigeria, and France; Group B Japan, New Zealand, Mexico, and England. The USA, Korea DPR, Colombia, and Sweden will contest Group C, while Australia will come up against Brazil, Norway, and Equatorial, er, Guinea in Group D.
The first words out of my mouth following that announcement were not 'That's a tough group' or 'Oh no, not Brazil' (because everyone always fears the South American kings and queens of flair) but 'Equatorial who?'
I mean, really. Who of us could point Equatorial Guinea out on a map? Or even confidently nominate which continent it's on? Because I'm not going to lie, I did wonder if it was related to Papua New Guinea, before dismissing that notion not because that was wrong and I actually knew where it was, but because with us competing in Asia, New Zealand—and not New Guinea—was occupying the Oceania World Cup spot.
My reaction reminds me of the German men's team's pre-2010 World Cup sledge, when they dubbed the Socceroos the 'Soccerwhos'. Mine wasn't an intentional heckle, however, and I felt slightly better to hear Tom Sermanni's post-draw comments:
'I would say this group is on a par with our group in 2007 with the exception that we don't know a great deal about Equatorial Guinea, but we don't play them until the second match so we've got time to have a look at them.'
You've got to know they're a footballing minnow if even your experienced, well-travelled national coach isn't down with a style of play. That's not to say they're going to be the group easy beats and a quick google turns up some, well, interesting results.
That Equatorial Guinea became the first nation other than Nigeria to win the Women's African Football Championship is par for the footballing-facts course. Even better, they just weeks ago had a complaint lodged against them for - in a truth is stranger than fiction scenario - fielding a man in the recent 2010 event.
Yep, a man.
Whether or not it's true or is simply the other team being sore opponents remains to be seen, but it's a lot more interesting than the results that I expected my internet search to yield. You know, the ones where we find out Equatorial Guinea is ranked 70th in the world (the Matildas are 12th), their highest ranking has been 66th, and that 2011 is pretty much their first appearance at the World Cup (hence why Sermanni et al. don't know a lot about them).
But a man on the pitch? That's brilliant, not least because I'm incredulous (and slightly impressed) that, if the story is true, they appear to have thought that no one would actually notice.
So are we likely to be able to take Equatorial Guinea, with or without a guy getting about as a girl? On paper, you'd say yes, but the truth is that by the time you get to the final 16, any team can take any team on any given day. Sure, you don't want to come up against world numbers 1 or 2 the USA or Germany, respectively, as their well-drilled teams who emerge from well-funded and well-run professional footballing programs are likely to take most teams most times. But beyond that, well, there are so many other factors at play. Including, it seems, the gender of the players on the pitch.
Jokes aside about whether there'll be a man purporting to be a woman for Equatorial Guinea, Group D is tough. But, as Sermanni said, it's no tougher than we've encountered previously, including most recently at the 2007 Women's World Cup.
Even better, we've come up OK in previous matches against both Brazil and Norway, our other Group D opponents. Brazil knocked the Matildas out in a 3-2 quarter-final thriller in 2007, before losing to Germany in the final, but the Matildas came away with a 1-0 win when the teams met again in 2008. Neither Germany nor Norway is unbeatable and, while we haven't drawn the 'easy' group (that's arguably Group B), we haven't drawn the toughest either (I'd say that's any group with the aforementioned Germany or the USA).
The Matildas will kick off their 2011 Women's World Cup campaign against Brazil in the almost-unpronounceable Moenchengladbach in Germany on 29 June. In the interim, I'll be keeping an eye on how the accusations unfold against the apparently Man-Fielding Equatorial Guinea.
