When things aren't really going your way the true character of people really shows through. With Victory losing two matches in a row and three out of the last four, the various types of fans have all come out of the woodwork and I'm here to help you identify them when you are next at a Melbourne Victory game.

The "Barclay's Premier League" Fan

Usually seen sporting the same piece of merchandise of their favourite Premier League team to every Melbourne Victory game even though they probably only ever watched them on television. Spends most of the game talking about how their "other" team went last night only taking time to interrupt the discourse to yell abuse at Kevin Muscat, Matthew Kemp, Archie Thompson or all of the above.

Also prone to substituting the names of, let's say, Liverpool players as they try to join in with the chants of the Northern Terrace and have also been known to pick on young Victory fans called Lawrence. These fans are also unable to comprehend why all the players aren't running around like a chicken with its head cut off like Carlos Tevez does every week.

The "Abuser"

This fan appears to have a love-hate relationship with Melbourne Victory. When things are going well not a peep can be heard from them but should Victory go behind a few goals it is highly recommended that you move out of earshot if you value your sanity and or your hearing. No one is safe from their torrent of criticism be it the players, Ernie Merrick, Gary Cole and even the ball boys. They live in the belief that the players can actually hear what they are yelling and their volume increases exponentially in relation to their frustration at the team's ability to act on their incoherent instructions. Sometimes also known as the "Beserker".

The "I always believed in Danny Allsop" Fan

First spotted at Melbourne Victory matches during the 2006/07 season this fan is known for their assertion that they always believed in Danny Allsopp, despite his less than spectacular opening season. This is somewhat of a bi-annual creature who only seems make an appearance when the season begins in an even numbered year. However in somewhat of an odd occurrence this fan has been spotted out and about in recent weeks even though Danny Allsopp hasn't been seen in a Victory strip for well over a year. It must be all that rain.

The "Pessimist"

Closely related to the "Abuser" but more of the strong, silent type. Can be easily identified by the poor state of their fingernails and the worried expression that is always on their face. Never truly happy until the final whistle has blown with Victory in front. At the conclusion of said game they will then start to worry about the next one. In extreme cases, this fan has been worried that the opposition might make a comeback even though they are three goals and a man down in a Grand Final.

The "Eternal Optimist"

Arch enemy of the "Pessimist" this fan can always see good in a performance no matter what the outcome (well maybe not that 3-1 defeat against Perth) much to the frustration of those around them. Will have extreme faith in their team and that everything will turn out all right in the end and rarely, if ever calls for the sacking of their coach. Like the "Pessimist" can often be a strong, silent type.

The "Jenny Craig" fan

Constantly obsessed by the weight of a certain Costa Rican, this fan can be heard constantly stating in their very honest opinion that that aforementioned player is at least five to ten kilograms overweight and that's why he hasn't reproduced the form of last season. In this assertion they ignore the fact that this player has been kicked from pillar to post by opposition markers. Been known to have a beer in one and a bucket of chips in the other whilst stating their very honest opinion.

The "Short Corner" brigade

Not a single person but a group of fans who feel compelled to feel the need to let out a collective moan or mutter "Not the short corner!" every time Melbourne Victory choose to take the less conventional option at a corner. It is often wondered by observers that if this group of people were to observe a live Barcelona match whether we would see the first case of mass self-combustion as Xavi Hernandez rolls the ball out to Andres Iniesta from the corner flag.

The "Formationist"

Often seen with a notebook or an internet forum close to hand, this fan is in constant search of the perfect formation whether it be it 4-4-2 (with or without a diamond midfield), 3-5-2, 4-3-3 or 4-3-1-2 and finding the right combination of players to fit into these formations. Can otherwise be identified by the vague look in their eye as they stare out into rectangular shaped space that only they can see. This is an endless quest as they are never truly satisfied no matter what the outcome achieved.

The "Defector"

Enough said.