Part slasher film, tearjerker and farce - the Newcastle Jets make compelling viewing. MICHAEL CAIN gives the long-running A-League soap opera the Hollywood treatment.
A club at rock bottom of the A-league, which sits in an area that has the biggest nursery of youth talent in Australia seems hard to fathom.
Newcastle Jets fans need either a hug, a shoulder to cry on or just a good laugh.
Since the last time the club made the finals back in 2010 it's been like a movie!
What a script it's been!
Maybe a love story that starts out well, before ending in tragedy?
In reality.... it's been more of a horror flick!
One thing that would be a sure bet, if you were making it at the moment, it would be done on a Home & Away budget, not a Steven Spielberg blockbuster!
You know you could even use lines out of famous flicks to describe the club's current and past predicaments.
Jets chairman Martin Lee keeps everyone waiting in regards to future player spending and with another wooden spoon confirmed, something must give.
Coach Mark Jones all season cried, "show me the moneeeeeeeey" but in the end all he was shown was the door.
After spending $5.5 million on the franchise back in June last year, long suffering fans were given hope that the club's 'fast and furious' fortunes had turned a corner with an influx of new signings imminent.
The overhaul hasn't come and the line from the 1980's flick 'Flying High' sums it up!
"Surely you can't be serious? I am serious and don't call me Shirley".
When there has been any type of new blood, just like over the 11 years the club has been in existence, it’s been like the Forrest Gump assumption "Life is like a box of chocolates and you never know what you're gonna get."
Former owner Nathan Tinkler was a walking headline when he was at the helm and deserves to play a starring role in any type of Jets feature film.
Remember Nathan? He had us at hello!
Like Titanic, it all started well. All aboard! ……The billionaire at the time could've been forgiven if he went to the bow and screamed "I'm king of the world," when in reality the consensus was, he's "gonna need a bigger boat".
The ship set sail for a better future…..but like the Con Constantine management regime before him, it ended in life rafts, as the FFA stripped him of the club's licence.
Those two administrations remind me of the father's speech in 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'.
"It's like comparing apples and oranges, all different but in the end we're all fruit."
You still with me? Good!
Throw in the 'coach sacking trilogy' box set of Nick Theodorakopoulos, Phil Stubbins and Scott Miller and the behind the scenes drama that led to the axe being sharpened and you'd have a good chance of an Oscar nomination.
So, on the outside it seems 'a few good men' is all that's needed to turn Newcastle's fortunes around.
If the Jets can’t see it, then they 'just can't handle the truth!"
Let’s hope the upcoming off-season spawns new optimism both on and off the pitch.
So from now on, "Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary".
Better still, just make your fans proud again because that's what they deserve.
OK, roll credits.
Michael Cain is a senior sports journalist for Ten Eyewitness news in Sydney.