Perhaps hoping for a picture of the Socceroos squad on the front page of the Telegraph and Herald was just a little too much to hope for on New Years Day - not entirely inappopropriate given the nation will be transfixed from June to Jyly this year - but it hasn't stopped me from welcoming 2010 with a list of New Year resolutions as a Socceroos fan.
It's a surprisingly cleansing spiritual process that centres my existence - and so I hope that you contribute your own resolutions to the list below and join me in football nirvana thereafter. I might even put up a revised list for my next blog entry with all of your contributions added:
1. Resolve to stop hoping for a radical change in tactics and personnel by Pim Verbeek at the World Cup: I'm one of those people who quite often goes on an expedition of the deep crevasses of my mind once my head hits the pillow, able to stay awake for hours dreaming up all manner of things (use your imagination here... within reason). It might surprise you that Pim Verbeek has no such place in those dreams but as South Africa approaches it's fair to say that I'll pull out a copy of Jonathan Wilson's Inverting The Pyramid before bed, thus losing hours of sleep as I try to twist every formation in the history of football to the Socceroos' needs in an attempt to get them through the group stages. In order to avoid mood swings due to a lack of rest after awaking from a restless night - the sort of stuff that can destroy families - I resolve to accept that Verbeek will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever change his ways and instead choose to think about an empty vacuum in space as I try to scrape a few minutes of rest together before that first group game. Face it guys, it's going to be Harry up-top, Tim in-behind, nine men behind the ball and hopefully, a very frustrated Miroslav Klose.
2. I resolve to stop blogging about fringe Socceroos and how "Nick Carle should be our Number 10 coz we don't have a playmaker": To be honest, this resolution list is now turning into a universal one for all of you fans, bloggers and hooligans out there. As much as I cherish the internet as a forum for discussion, critique and as a medium for opinion, it's not as though Pim Verbeek's daily itinerary as Socceroos boss is to hop on the net for advice on squad selection. Short of organising a march through Hyde Park with Nick Carle banners or rigging the Harbour Bridge to replace that tacky Ying and Yang symbol with "Number 10 - Palace" so as to get the message across to the Dutchman, it's probably best if the internet space currently being used up for the literary masterpieces in support of messrs Carle, Ognenovski and anyone else who probably just isn't good enough to start at a World Cup were instead left for more beneficial uses, like addressing climate change.
3. I resolve to stop being an ultra-cynical pre-World Cup doomsayer: Although I've never smoked anything other than an argile, I can imagine that quitting is a common but oft-unfulfiled resolution for others. Number 3 on my list is probably the equivalent to resolving to quit smoking in 2010, if I indeed had a social life that was vibrant enough for me to need to actually smoke around people to maintain my social status. I find myself unable to provide any other answer to those keen to hear my predictions about Australia's World Cup chances - I'm the resident football fanatic and connoisseur in my various circles - other than "We'll get hammered against Germany and Serbia. Maybe we'll sneak a draw against Ghana but their midfield is very good. We should be happy to be there." As much as what I'm saying is entirely logic-driven and probably an accurate prediction of what will happen, it tends to depress the people I talk to. My new response: "Mate, anything can happen - it's that Aussie spirit that gives us an advantage over any team. Look what happened in Germany! I reckon the German's will be overconfident - we'll smash'em, just like we smashed Italy. Ghana are an easy beat and will choke with a home advantage. We might even have enough points to qualify before we have to play Serbia! Plus, we beat and drew with the Dutch under Verbeek. We aren't ranked 21st in the world for nothing."
4. I resolve to make sure that my country of birth takes priority over my country of origin: A contentious point, as we found out during the knockout stages of the last World Cup. This isn't a problem for yours truly though: there's no question that I'm Australian and a Socceroos fan first, a Greece fan second (a very passionate second). For the rest of you betrayers-in-waiting: we're watching you. The smiley-faced emoticon sent to me via SMS by an Italian friend who posed as a Socceroo fan before revealing his true intentions until after Totti scored that penalty had quite a profound impact on my relatively young and hormone-driven-self back in 2006. Such behaviour from resident Serbian, Greek and Italian fans when and if the Socceroos face up to your side in South Africa will be met by total scorn and unapologetic forum abuse. You have been warned.
5. I resolve to memorize the Wikipedia page of Australia's three group stage opponents so that at social gatherings I am the 'Chief Football Analyst': Admit it, you've all taken a look at Germany, Ghana and Serbia's Wikipedia page and memorized their past World Cup performances and manager's name and history at the very least. If not for your own ego-driven needs, you're no doubt doing it to be able to catch out anyone else posing as a football expert. The following description of Ghana at a social function will give a Wikipedia-based research away: "Everyone's saying Ghana are going to be an easy team but it's not true: they've won the African Cup of Nations four times and are Africa's second-most successful nation of all time behind Egypt. They've enjoyed considerable success at youth level, having won the FIFA U-17 World Cup. After going through 2005 unbeaten, they won the FIFA World Ranking's Most Improved team of the year award and went as far as Australia at the last World Cup. They have Michael Essien and he plays for Chelsea." Feel free at this point to proceed with accusations that the individual posing as an expert on African football is nothing but a 'bandwaggoner', not giving away the fact that you didn't bother to watch that first leg in Uruguay back in '05 because you didn't know it was on.
