Somewhere in life's journey, everyone acquires a friend with a passion for performing. Maybe he's in a band, acts in amateur theatre or fancies himself as a stand-up comic. Sooner or later a terrifying thing will happen : you will be required to attend his gig and (be afraid, be very afraid) give him some "feedback".
Okay, so your friend could be the next Josh Pyke or Sam Worthington but what if he isn't ? What if his singing is flat, his acting wooden or his jokes totally lame? Through no fault of your own, you will be forced to say - "Wow ! You did really well!" All the time desperately avoiding eye-contact because, well, how can you hurt a mate's feelings ?
That's how I feel right now about supporting the Mariners. Although I love them dearly, every week it becomes harder to find the positives without resorting to a few white lies. Sure, our performances in the past two rounds have been an improvement but the overwhelming feeling I had watching the Mariners play Adelaide was complete frustration.
I watched Mrdja's penalty through trembling fingers, like a kid watching a horror movie, and screamed with happiness when he lobbed it into the back of the net. "Please, please don't give away the lead," I pleaded out loud. It seemed like only a microsecond before we did.
If there is a hell, all the football teams there play out endless 1-1 draws.
I think I aged 10 years watching Mrdja try to get the winner in the second half. In fact, I'm not sure whether I care if we make the top six any more, as long as we can score some goals. Waiting for the Mariners to score at Bluetongue this season has been like staying up all night to watch the Tour de France : exhausting, endless but hey, lovely scenery !
My attention span is fairly expansive and my patience for football results is unlimited, but please give us a reason for mindless goal celebrations on Friday, not just another beautiful sunset over the palm trees.
Painful as it is, if the Mariners were a band I might have to finally make eye-contact and suggest they find a new lead singer because it's just not happening upfront. Even if we do make the top six, where are the goals going to come from ? Sadly, Simon doesn't seem to be having much luck and Kwassie never seems to get enough time on the park.
Mrdja has found form lately, which is an encouraging sign and perhaps we might even see Jonathan Brown make it to the bench on Friday. Sure, he's only just played his first match in months and is still adjusting to the delights of Gosford (like Cardiff, but hotter and with less singing talent) but fling him in at the deep end, I say. Anything to give the team (and the fans) a new buzz.
Looking ahead to next season, we've signed Daniel McBreen. Good news, although he's a similar style of striker to the ones we've already got and maybe a bit of variety would be good. Perhaps 16-year-old AIS wunderkind Mustafa Amini will become the new Bono of Bluetongue, although he's likely to spend many months next season singing backing vocals before he gets his chance upfront in the spotlight.
As Kossie is fond of saying : let's be honest, let's be perfectly honest. What the fans really want next season is a marquee striker who can really ramp up the crowds. No Time Wasters. Someone who can thrill the fans and bring genuine excitement back to Bluetongue, the way Aloisi did not so long ago. Given the drop in crowd numbers and all the disappointments of 2009, it would be a wise investment that could reap rewards on and off the pitch.
It seems an eternity since we went to Bluetongue with genuinely high expectations. Much as I'd love to see us decimate GCU once again on Friday, I'm superstitious enough not to dream big dreams. Just do something to wipe the self-satisfied grin off their faces, that's all I ask.
On thing's for certain, until we find a reliable regular goal scorer, Mariners fans will be forced to repeat : "Wow ! You did really well !" Making sure to avoid eye-contact.
