To be a Mariners' fan right now is to know the true meaning of pain.
Not disappointment, sadness or regret but complete abject misery. The kind of misery that drains your energy and seems to taint every waking moment, a pain so raw that you wonder how it will ever truly heal.
Although I have witnessed countless unhappy football moments, the last three minutes of the 2011 Grand Final are without doubt the most shockingly painful I have ever experienced. When Paartalu scored from the corner in the dying seconds it was like being stabbed or shot : sudden, lethal, agonising. The entire Away Bay gasped in disbelief, a huge outpouring of yellow and navy grief while around us a massive crowd of orange jumped for joy.
How had it come to this ? Just fifteen minutes earlier Mariners' supporters had erupted in total ecstasy when Ollie scored our second goal. Beer went flying, total strangers leaped up and hugged each other and a very drunk guy fell down onto us from several rows above. It was blissful insanity, delirious excitement. Our boys had come to Suncorp and shown exactly what they were made of and once again had stunned the crowd into silence. At last, after all we'd been through in the past, that beautiful trophy seemed ours for the taking.
Beating the unbeatable Brisbane - there are no words for how proud we felt. And even when Henrique scored with three minutes to go we did not take our eyes off the prize or the clock. It was ours, this was it, we were thirty seconds away from glory.
THIRTY SECONDS. I cannot get that out of my head and I don't think I ever will. We had one hand on the toilet seat and thirty seconds later it slipped from our grasp. The cruelty of that moment, after how well we had fought throughout 117 minutes was totally unbearable.
I almost couldn't watch the penalties. Although Ryan had an outstanding game, someone with Theo's age and experience was always more likely to come out on top. To settle this contest, in which we'd pushed Roar to the limit in such a way was for me, absolutely sickening.
It is the nature of football that they are called "the winners" and take home the silverware but no-one could argue that it was a decisive victory. In the midst of the orange mania, perhaps we need to remember Roar were THIRTY SECONDS away from being "the losers". Is a team that failed to score for 117 minutes of Grand Final football and only managed an equaliser by the skin of its teeth really that far ahead of its opponent ?
Logic would suggest otherwise. And in a game where the two teams could only be separated by the lottery of penalties, Arnie questioning a dubious refereeing decision made by Breeze in the last minute of the game which ultimately led to the equaliser is not mere sour grapes.
According to Harps, Arnie's assertion that Breeze should have called a foul for a shoulder charge on Bojic in the game's last minute indicates he's 'in denial' about The Mariners' loss. Thanks for the psychoanalysis Dr Harper but on the Central Coast we call it 'seeking justice'. Something that seems to have been lost in the rampant hysteria of Roar Love that broke out as soon as Henrique put his shot past Matty.
Well excuse me if I don't join the BrisVegas Party. In fact, if I have to watch Matt McKay's "Ooh YEA-AH !" speech again I think I'll throw up. As a Mariners' fan right now I couldn't give a monkeys how "great this match was for the A-League" and how there were "no losers". WE LOST, we lost big time.
As fans, we have every right to be sore losers. We are bruised, battered, emotionally exhausted. We watched our team scare Brisbane witless for nearly 120 minutes then five minutes later we're supposed to accept that Roar are vastly superior ? It's never gonna happen. And please don't suggest, as David Zdrilic did that our precociously talented keeper didn't deserve the Joe Marston Medal. You cannot be serious.
He and the entire team played absolutely out of their skins and it was terrible to witness their devastation at the end of the match. Numb with shock, Mariners fans saw the Coast's tough guy Hutcho reduced to tears but the saddest sight was Wilko, leaning exhausted against the goalpost holding his runner's up medal and watching orange glitter rain over Roar. He seemed unable to move until Matt Simon came and helped him leave the pitch.
I know Wilko, Arnie and the rest of the boys will be hurting for a long time to come but they need to know we are incredibly proud of them. They've given us endless enjoyment this season and we will miss them so much in the long months before Season 7. Roar received a parade through Brisbane, surely Gosford needs to give public recognition to the Mariners who are a credit to the Coast.
The Finals have been an emotional rollercoaster but we wouldn't have missed any of it. Year by year our club is building a proud history and the pain we experience today can only make our future triumphs sweeter. And there will be future triumphs, of that I am absolutely certain.
