Brisbane Roar's not-quite-dire financial situation has been a source for many a cheap shot at my beloved orange and maroon football club this season. That is, when the media and the fans of the other A-League clubs are not criticising Bob Malcolm or Ange Postecoglou or just Queensland in general (FYI - Joh's dead, get over it).
Ever since Football Federation Australia rightfully offered to prop-up the club at the end of last season there have been numerous posts on this website's forums suggesting ways to improve the club's ailing bank balance. These suggestions have included, but not been limited to:
• Encouraging new investors to buy a slice of the club
• Exporting young players to the less glamorous corners of Europe and Asia in exchange for transfer fees
• Reducing overheads by moving home matches to Ballymore
• Having the players wash their kits at home after match days and training (okay, I made that one up)
Each of these suggestions on a theoretical level would improve the club's bottom line. Unfortunately, theory very rarely works in a random and chaotic world as I will now attempt to demonstrate.
Only the so-called true believers like Con Constantine, Terry Serepisos and Clive Palmer are willing to throw their millions of dollars at a football club and not expect a return until many years later, if at all. It's the old Catch-22 that the money only appears when a club is perceived as successful and successful clubs are rarely in need of the financing that unsuccessful clubs are. It would take a brave businessman to invest their money in a club that has never won anything of note.
At this point I will issue my apologies to the fantastically talented Brisbane Roar W-League squad. Sadly, few of my supposedly football-mad friends and acquaintances consider the W-League trophy to count in that regard, hence the implication that the club is yet to win anything of note. But then again, most of the people that think in this way are misogynistic pigs, so don't take it too personally, ladies.
As for making some extra pocket money on the transfer market, well that decision belongs to the players and management. For example, Michael Zullo was being courted by Dutch Eredivisie side NEC during the most recent A-League off-season. Ultimately, Zullo and then-manager Frank Farina decided it was not in the player's best interests to leave the club at that stage of his development. The reportedly six figure offer was declined.
Of course, the glaring problem with this money-making method is that transfer revenue is unreliable and fraught with other dangers. It may have worked with this season's changing of the guard (especially if the club had been willing to play hardball with Liam Reddy, Craig Moore and Charlie Miller) but selling off large chunks of the squad every year is perhaps not the best way to increase fan support in the long term. Additionally, transfer deals tend to fall through more often than not.
Transfer revenue should then be seen at best as an unexpected bonus and not a constant source of profit. After all, wasn't the A-League supposed to be about retaining Australia talent in this country for the benefit of Australian fans?
Then there is the stadium issue. Ballymore, which now serves as the club's administrative and training base, is a suburban relic in need of a facelift if it were to host A-League football. The owner's of the inner-northern complex, Queensland Rugby Union, have repeatedly attempted to gain planning permission to overhaul the site only for the powers-that-be to cite a myriad of reasons why it cannot be done.
While I respect nearby residents concerns regarding match day parking, crowds and noise I find it hard to believe these problems could not be overcome through consultation with the various stakeholders. What cannot be overcome however, is the fact that the $280 million state government funded Suncorp Stadium would become a white elephant (or should that be white bronco?) if two of its three tenants decided to play their home games at Ballymore instead.
That would look rather bad for the very same government that signs off on the planning permissions, wouldn't it?
As for the players washing their own kits, I am reminded of an episode of Seinfeld where the Yankees are soundly defeated courtesy of their uniforms shrinking in the wash. My advice is to stick with the professionals when it comes to laundry. And just to be clear with some of the male, teenage readers of this blog - that does not mean your long-suffering mothers.
So if none of these suggestions from FourFourTwo's loyal and handsome readers solves the issue, then what will? I decided to look at the successful football clubs around the country for inspiration.
Irrespective of the code, the geographic location or the size of the club there was one common element to their revenue streams - poker machines and plenty of them. Of course, these are ethically operated within the confines of leagues-type clubs that are not about gambling and are all about socialising and community...apparently.
I'm sure we have all seen some of these poor man's suburban casinos and perhaps many have even ventured inside for a quick meal and a flutter. The figures vary from club to club but as a quick example Hawthorn Football Club reportedly sourced an average $11 million per annum over the past three years from their poker machine operations at Waverley. Now that's a spicy meatball even after the taxes and operating expenses are removed from the equation.
It is no coincidence that Brisbane Roar's current financial woes began in earnest with the severing of ties with Queensland Lions and their network of licensed clubs and poker machines. It is also no secret, that Queensland Lions are doing far better financially then Brisbane Roar despite floundering in mid table of the lowly Brisbane First Division.
So the question I put to the fans of the club and the readers of this blog is this - do you believe that Brisbane Roar FC should invest in a litany of poker machines to help subsidise the football operations of the club? Or, can you suggest another way the club could source that level of revenue through less morally-ambiguous methods?