A week earlier than usual, England is conducting its World Cup autopsy. The players are no good. The coach is no good. The referees robbed them. The predictability of the whole thing is truly farcical. If you had scripted six months ago that things would end this way for England, the ever-optimistic British fans might've laughed you off but the rest of the world wouldn't have blinked an eye.
That a team with the talent at England's disposal could bow out with just three goals and one win over four games might be a travesty. The World Cup would've been better for a dynamic Rooney doing for England what he does for United. The support cast of Gerrard, Lampard and Johnson aren't bad either in the Premier League and - perhaps more significantly - in the Champions League. It just seems though that World Cups and England aren't meant to be. Perhaps John Safran needs to investigate whether more than one team was cursed by that witch-doctor in Mozambique.
The truth is, for all England's potential, the World Cup will not miss them. They have great players, but so do Brazil, Spain, Argentina and Germany. Unlike those four nations and indeed the others still remaining in the tournament, however, England tend not to give their players licence to play.
If Lampard, Gerrard or Rooney receive the ball deep and make a pass rather than powering through the defence then they're shirking their responsibility. If Milner or Lennon try unsuccessfully to isolate full-backs and get past them then they're selfish and not playing the team game. If Terry or Johnson gets caught in possession in defence trying to build a counter-attack, they're a national disgrace and can expect months or indeed years of criticism. Playing the way the rest of the world plays is un-British. Even if the British way has been unsuccessful at national level for 44 years.
The defining moment for many was, of course, the goal that wasn't. Bad referees and the lack of technology has become a convenient scapegoat for some true believers in the Three Lions. It's hard to not have some sympathy for England, but at the same time an equally defining moment was the ease in which Ozil was able to dash away from Gareth Barry before teeing up Müller for the final goal. The moment was the epitome of difference between the two sides, and at that point it should've been obvious to all that England was never going to win the match regardless of disallowed goals.
So it is that we say, "C U L8r England... sry 4 d mist8k. Will wrk on tech. 4 d future!"
Fare Thee Well America
Whether or not you subscribe to the lack of technology being the cause of England's demise in South Africa, it's fair to say it was a truly old-fashioned method of defeat for the US. Two simple and physically generated goals were enough to end a gallant American challenge.
Boateng pounced as Ghana won the ball in midfield and, as players have been doing for more than a century, created panic in the US defence by simply running at them. They backed off, the shot opened up for him and he took it well. 1-0 Ghana. The US got level thanks to Donovan's penalty but come injury time, it was again a show of speed and strength that allowed Gyan to muscle the game from the Confederations Cup finalists. Either goal might've been as much from the first World Cup in 1930 had they not been scored by one of football's new frontiers in Ghana.
It was a heartbreaking end for the US who managed to come from behind three times in the tournament, and were only moments from elimination when Donovan scored the winner against Algeria. After New Zealand, the US might have a fair claim for gutsiest team of the tournament. Conversely, though, a team that found itself in a winning position in a match for a total of three minutes over four games can scarcely complain about failing to reach the quarter finals.
England and the US may go out at the same stage of this tournament, but it is with extremely contrasting emotions. England were disappointing - dismal even. America were at various stages a breath of fresh air. Their fans were surprisingly good-natured, passionate and informed. They gave us two great moments with their comeback against Slovenia and late winner against Algeria. In Donovan they even had a player who outshone any of England's supposed stars and it's a tribute to the MLS that he has risen to such a level in a supposedly lesser league.
So it is that we say, "Fare thee well America. Thy performances were assured and thy spirit resounding. But alas thou hast fallen to a pair of strikes that remind us that football today is in essence the same game being played 80 years ago in Uruguay." And even video replays or Hawkeye technology won't change that.
