Ernie Merrick’s Coach of the Year award at the Hyundai A-League Awards made it two in a row for the local Scots’ coaches after Lawrie McKinna’s win last year. As the token Jock on FourFourTwo, I’m ignoring the fact the pair have been in Australia for almost 50 years between them. They still sound like sweaties (and both made a beeline for the deep-fried king prawns, know what I’m saying?) – and that’s Scotch enough for me. Now bring on the Cricket World Cup... well, maybe not.

The A-League WAGs were out in force at the event, conveniently saving money by apparently sharing the material from one dress between them all. There was more skin on show than a serial killers’ convention. But in a good way, of course. Why they choose to hang around with uglies like Danny Allsopp and Nicky Carle is beyond me. Good looks, fabulous talents and youth only go so far, you know. A bright red couch and FoxSports on the TV is FOR LIFE. Oh.

Seeing as we’re on the web now, I’ve got an idea. Can someone come up with an RSVP site for footballers and football clubs? You know, “Former skipper, recently divorced from club, seeks understanding new partner for second chance at happiness” Or New Zealand Knights could truthfully promise potential stars that they can “Play like nobody’s watching...” Just gimme 20 percent of the turnover and the idea’s all yours.
Cheers.