Making all the right moves but when you get close to the box everything goes limp? Don't panic, you're not alone.

Dr F (we all know what that stands for!) regularly gets letters from those with 'performance anxieties'. Take this conversation with young "A.U"....

AU: Dear Dr F, I hope you can help. I am young, fit and - until recently - very happy with the way my life was progressing. Unfortunately I am now experiencing extremely embarrassing problems when it comes to..um...'close encounters'.  There's no problem finding a partner and things usually start well. My technique may not be perfect but foreplay remains one of my strengths. It's just that....when I approach the goal..... I just can't shoot. Or, if I can, it's too early or too late! Or off target. It's humiliating. As you can imagine, this leaves everyone feeling pretty disappointed. Can you help?

Dr F: Dear AU, don't panic! You're not the first to have this problem. And you won't be the last. These things can often be the result of stress or loss of confidence. Can you think of anything that has changed in your life recently?

AU: Dear Dr F, so much has changed. My workplace was taken over and some of my best mates left. The new owners have made it clear that they're only here until they can offload the company again. Some new guys have come in and they've been a bit slow to catch on but essentially it's the same team. I just can't work out what's gone wrong. Last year - even on my overseas travel - I had no trouble finishing. I'm not saying I was scoring every night but...when it mattered I was pretty potent. Now, all I get is this huge build up and then....nothing.

Dr F: Dear AU, sometimes it helps to talk to an older friend about this sort of thing; maybe a manager at work? He may have had similar problems at some stage and might help set your mind at ease.

AU: Dear Dr F, I've tried to chat with the boss but he seems to have lost respect for me. Either he tells me I'm useless or he reminds me that nothing "serious" has changed. He just says that I need to keep doing it the same way as before and it'll come good (so to speak) but it's been months and nothing happens. To be fair, he's suggested a couple of new positions and even injected a bit of what he calls "youth" into me but I can tell he thinks it's my fault. He says that when he was my age he was a real 'gun'. Although, these days he hardly talks to me at all.

Dr F: AU, I'm getting the feeling that this issue is not so much to do with your 'forward thrust' so much as your general belief in yourself. How are your relationships with your family? That can often be a cause of great comfort or insecurity.

AU: Dr F, I'm glad to say that most of my family are aware of my problem and have been really supportive. Without them I don't know what I'd do? Night after night they cheer me on and they still believe I can do it. Sure, some of them have a laugh but mainly they blame the boss for my failures - but I know it's not just him.

DR F: Well AU, you're lucky to have such a supportive family. Strange perhaps - but supportive.  I'm a bit stuck as to what to suggest but I believe it may come down to you refocussing on the pleasure and joy that you get out of 'the game' we're talking about. You may be thinking too much about the 'final score' and not enough about the 'beautiful game'. Can I suggest that next time you find yourself in the pursuit of conquest you throw caution to the wind, revel in the joy and pleasure of the encounter, rediscover the thrill of the chase and go for goal as often as the opportunity - or the night - allows? Oh, and if you can convince your boss to let you drink deeply of that "youth" potion I think you might start seeing results you like. Whatever you do, don't despair. It won't be long before you're laying them in the aisles, so to speak. Good luck, young man.

Dr F is available for consultation on an ongoing basis. He may not know much about "F" but he knows what he likes.