Urawa Reds were hailed as the Asian Manchester United. They weren't. They were more like the Aldi’s Man United – they looked like a genuine brand name...until you get up close and realise it’s just a cheap fake churned out with a fancy label from a cottage in Bavaria.
Their German coach Holger Osiek insisted after the game that he hadn’t been surprised by Sydney’s performance. Which, in that case, makes him the only person among the 21,010 at Aussie Stadium who wasn’t. Well, for the first 25 minutes at least anyway.
Exactly how he could have predicted Sydney’s gameplan is a mystery, considering it was only Branko’s second game with the squad. Maybe he secretly scouted their legbreakers, sorry - glamour ties against Wollongong Wolves and Blacktown. Anyone see someone drinking lager and eating sushi on the sidelines?
Either way, at half-time, it looked like Urawa had seriously underestimated the local lads, but would come out and flatten them after the break. The Japanese had barely broken sweat. And then they, erm, still didn’t.
Washington was straight out of the Viduka School of Football, a big, burly target man who looks like he’s never met a meat pie he didn’t like. And just like Viduka, he ran like his arse hairs were tied together too.
Yuki Abe was the record $4 million signing but he missed his true profession. He should have been a ninja – he was never seen or heard for almost the entire game. And the so-called striker Yuchiro Nagai needed Clint’s clanger to drop at his feet (oo-er missus, etc) before he could score.
Sydney meanwhile shone at the start, faded badly as half-time approached and desperately, DESPERATELY need to work on playing the ball out of defence. They tried, they failed and it was agony to watch. You actually prayed for them to revert to the long ball game whenever Fyfe had the ball. “KICK IT. IN THE NAME OF GOD, GET RID OF THE THING. You’re shit at dribbling. And passing. And not that hot at tackling either. In fact, you’re facing the wrong fecken way... KICK THE FECKER...”
All in all though, it was still a great result for Sydney, even if they did throw away a two goal lead. If anyone had offered The Cove a 2-2 draw beforehand, I’m pretty sure they would have cut your hand off, sold it on eBay and drunk the profits at the Agincourt.
But, of course, now we know they're the Aldi's ManU and not the Asian ManU, 2-2 doesn't seem such a good effort.
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Talking of the Cove, you lads were put to shame by the Reds fans. They were simply awesome. The Japanese – a vociferous race.
The Cove still tried to compete though but the rest of the crowd were like an afternoon in Stamford Bridge (only without the celery). Sing, dammit. Make some noise. Let the visitors know you’re there. Make them fear you.
As it was, the prawn sandwich mob (aka The Member’s Section) was full to brimming with celebrities - and apart from the FourFourTwo liggers, there were also some stars there too. You can always tell it’s a big game when the member’s section is full. It still took them until the 89th minute before they could bring themselves to chant “Sydney, Sydney” though. I guess that’s when the sandwiches ran out...
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I am so bored of stories from Manchester United about how bloody great Cristiano Ronaldo is. They have wheeled out everyone that’s ever walked past Old Trafford to sing his praises in a bid to get him to sign his new contract. Even Becks has helped out his craggy old enemy Fergie to persuade the weasel-faced wanker, erm, I mean talented youngster, to pledge his future to the club. And who wouldn’t take career advice from Beckham, eh? After all, look how well his own football career has gone recently... Oh, WAIT A MINUTE (Imagine me here raising a giant comedy sponge finger in mock awareness of a previously unrealised truism...)
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The fan who ran onto the pitch after the Chelsea Spurs FA Cup match has been accused of trying to hit Lampard. I think he was actually just trying to compare his lap time around Fat Frank's stomach against an earlier pitch invasion when he did the first three minute circumnavigation of Scouser Stevie Gerrard’s ego...
Their German coach Holger Osiek insisted after the game that he hadn’t been surprised by Sydney’s performance. Which, in that case, makes him the only person among the 21,010 at Aussie Stadium who wasn’t. Well, for the first 25 minutes at least anyway.
Exactly how he could have predicted Sydney’s gameplan is a mystery, considering it was only Branko’s second game with the squad. Maybe he secretly scouted their legbreakers, sorry - glamour ties against Wollongong Wolves and Blacktown. Anyone see someone drinking lager and eating sushi on the sidelines?
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| 'Always Keep Your Eye On The Ball..' And, look, Nagai is STILL trying to do the peace sign at the same time... |
Washington was straight out of the Viduka School of Football, a big, burly target man who looks like he’s never met a meat pie he didn’t like. And just like Viduka, he ran like his arse hairs were tied together too.
Yuki Abe was the record $4 million signing but he missed his true profession. He should have been a ninja – he was never seen or heard for almost the entire game. And the so-called striker Yuchiro Nagai needed Clint’s clanger to drop at his feet (oo-er missus, etc) before he could score.
Sydney meanwhile shone at the start, faded badly as half-time approached and desperately, DESPERATELY need to work on playing the ball out of defence. They tried, they failed and it was agony to watch. You actually prayed for them to revert to the long ball game whenever Fyfe had the ball. “KICK IT. IN THE NAME OF GOD, GET RID OF THE THING. You’re shit at dribbling. And passing. And not that hot at tackling either. In fact, you’re facing the wrong fecken way... KICK THE FECKER...”
All in all though, it was still a great result for Sydney, even if they did throw away a two goal lead. If anyone had offered The Cove a 2-2 draw beforehand, I’m pretty sure they would have cut your hand off, sold it on eBay and drunk the profits at the Agincourt.
But, of course, now we know they're the Aldi's ManU and not the Asian ManU, 2-2 doesn't seem such a good effort.
+++
Talking of the Cove, you lads were put to shame by the Reds fans. They were simply awesome. The Japanese – a vociferous race.
The Cove still tried to compete though but the rest of the crowd were like an afternoon in Stamford Bridge (only without the celery). Sing, dammit. Make some noise. Let the visitors know you’re there. Make them fear you.
As it was, the prawn sandwich mob (aka The Member’s Section) was full to brimming with celebrities - and apart from the FourFourTwo liggers, there were also some stars there too. You can always tell it’s a big game when the member’s section is full. It still took them until the 89th minute before they could bring themselves to chant “Sydney, Sydney” though. I guess that’s when the sandwiches ran out...
+++
I am so bored of stories from Manchester United about how bloody great Cristiano Ronaldo is. They have wheeled out everyone that’s ever walked past Old Trafford to sing his praises in a bid to get him to sign his new contract. Even Becks has helped out his craggy old enemy Fergie to persuade the weasel-faced wanker, erm, I mean talented youngster, to pledge his future to the club. And who wouldn’t take career advice from Beckham, eh? After all, look how well his own football career has gone recently... Oh, WAIT A MINUTE (Imagine me here raising a giant comedy sponge finger in mock awareness of a previously unrealised truism...)
+++
The fan who ran onto the pitch after the Chelsea Spurs FA Cup match has been accused of trying to hit Lampard. I think he was actually just trying to compare his lap time around Fat Frank's stomach against an earlier pitch invasion when he did the first three minute circumnavigation of Scouser Stevie Gerrard’s ego...
