5. “Please keep an eye on your documents…”

Endless queuing, third-world toilets and strip searches at the hands of square-headed hangovers from the Cold War – airports can be stressful places. But quite what persuaded Croatian striker Milan Rapaic to poke himself in the eye with his boarding pass in July 1995 was anyone’s guess… until he missed an arduous three weeks of pre-season. Cleverly done.

Airport

"Yep, got my passport in my pocket, my money in my wallet and my boarding pass in my eye socket"

 

6. Romero’s slippery customer

Antihistamines didn’t work and Romero spent the night in hospital, rejoining the squad at the airport 24 hours later for the 430-mile journey home

Clearly, airports are dangerous places. As Deportivo La Coruna landed in Pamplona for a 2003 game with Osasuna, a 15cm viper formed part of the unofficial welcome party. As full-back Enrique Romero went in for a closer look, the tiny snake bit the Spaniard’s left finger and his whole arm was soon engulfed in a rash. Antihistamines didn’t work and Romero spent the night in hospital, rejoining the squad at the airport 24 hours later for the 430-mile journey home. They’d lost 3-2.

7. It’s a dog’s life being a Bees keeper

The Scot’s left kneecap was shattered and he never played a professional game again, retiring to become a taxi driver

“Oh good tackle, good tackle,” chuckled the commentator as an errant pooch thudded into Brentford keeper Chic Brodie in November 1970’s Fourth Division match at Layer Road. But it was no laughing matter for Brodie. The Scot’s left kneecap was shattered and he never played a professional game again, retiring to become a taxi driver. “The dog might have been small,” said the victim, “but it happened to be solid.”