Swansea’s Paul Clement: Admiral Piett

We’re sure Admiral Piett is a nice guy. A good hand who’s had a second-in-command role as some bigwig like Darth Jose or kindly old Obi-WAncelotti crushed opposing forces on Alderaan or won a Champions League trophy or whatever. But here he is, promoted to the big job and we’re just… not sure… how long he’s going to last, frankly. Keep tugging at your collar Paul and, erm, don’t look behind you.

Tottenham’s Mauricio Pochettino: Princess Leia

"Aren't you a little short for a holding midfielder?"

Hungry eyes gaze from all angles at these highly prized resistance leaders, who seem to really suit lilywhite. Yet both are more than just eye candy plus a somewhat unconvincing brunette hairdo (easy on the dye, Mauricio) – they’re also born leaders who inspire loyalty in others, capable of choking out the galaxy's biggest monsters using the dreaded neck-high press. Bravo.

Watford’s Marco Silva: Poe Dameron

Woof. Swarthy newcomers have made an impact in a short time, proving they can deftly pilot somewhat faulty ships to impressive results. This has led to plenty of admiring looks from afar and, while a critic might say both are yet to prove themselves at the top echelons, at least Marco Silva can unleash his unstoppable Rancor Troy Deeney to crush the skulls of his enemies (or put himself about and win a few aerial balls. Probably both).

West Brom’s Alan Pardew: Lando Calrissian

Can you prove that Alan Pardew hasn’t greeted a princess with the words: “Hello, what have we here?” or tried to seduce your significant other in front of your astonished face with the line: “You truly belong here with us among the clouds." Classic Pards!

Yep, these intergalactic Romeos are peas in a spacepod. Plus if Pardew hasn’t yet lost a high-speed vehicle to a smuggler in an intergalactic gambling tournament, it’s just a matter of time.

West Ham’s David Moyes: Emperor Palpatine

Sadly, we couldn’t find a picture of the Emperor, so you’ll have to make do with this one of Moyes. Surely only a masterful Sith Lord could reap such grim despair as Moyes has left in his wake. Still, a major player in the series and not without powers – he’s even hinted that he can bring life forms back from the dead, which probably explains how he got the West Ham gig.

Currently to be found coursing electricity through his fingertips and into the desicrated husk of Andy Carroll. Probably.