As he stands on the brink of a record 109th cap, Beckham has admitted for virtually the first time that he thought his days as a top-line player were over when he was dumped by Steve McClaren in 2006.

Informed by answering machine message that his services were no longer required, the 33-year-old's confidence was shattered.

Through sheer persistence and force of will, the Londoner went on to end that season as a title-winner in Spain and even got his England place back.

But the psychological damage had been done and he said today: "I have had a lot of ups and downs in my career but being left out of the England squad was a big low. It knocked my confidence a lot and it affected me.

"I just assumed I wouldn't play for my country again. They were playing well and I just thought: 'That's it'."

It was that mindset that Beckham took into any negotiations over his career as his contract with Real Madrid entered its final season.

Under such circumstances, it is easy to see how the lure of life in Major League Soccer began to look attractive. AC Milan did make a move, but it came too late to halt one of the most bewildering transfers of recent times.

Even now, Beckham will not say he regrets the decision. But ask him where he feels happiest, in the USA or Milan, who maintained their interest and took him on a loan deal in January which has now been renegotiated into a more complicated timeshare, and the answer is straightforward.

"I didn't feel my legs had gone but confidence-wise, maybe," he said.

"When I went to Milan, I didn't know whether I was going to play a game or whether I would be able to keep up with the pace of some of the players in the team.

"But I surprised myself. The confidence is back that I can still play at this level.

"I went to Los Angeles to try something different and the game is still growing there. However, I was quite happy to get the Milan thing sorted.

"I have to be playing at the highest level to put me in a position to carry on getting picked for England. Being at Milan doesn't guarantee me a place but, in my own head, it gives me the satisfaction of knowing I have done everything to be in that position."

Beckham is committed to completing this Serie A campaign before having a month off and returning to LA until November. Then, after another short break, he comes back to Milan until the summer of 2010 and on towards South Africa and another tilt at the world's greatest prize.

Surely that would be perfect time to end a stellar England career? "No," he said, without a moment's hesitation.

"I have always said, even if I'm not picked in the squad, while I am still playing I always want to be available. I would still want that option.

"I don't think I would ever retire. I am passionate about playing for my country."

It is a stance that will be supported by all those who believe Beckham has a role to play within the current England set-up and that his 109th cap - which will see him overtake Bobby Moore's record for an outfield player - should be followed by many more, possibly beyond Peter Shilton's all-time best of 125.

Indeed, with Theo Walcott injured and Shaun Wright-Phillips extremely doubtful with an ankle problem which has prevented him training all week, Beckham could make his 100th start in the Wembley friendly with Slovakia, the final warm-up for a meeting with Ukraine on April 1.

He added: "This is one of the best squads I have been involved in. But there have been times in other squads where I have felt exactly the same.

"We produced some great stuff under Glenn Hoddle and with Sven-Goran Eriksson we were successful in qualifying.

"Each squad is different but this one is special because we have so many talented young players in the squad.

"People talk about a lack of experience but that doesn't matter because they have confidence. You only gain experience by playing in big games.

"Almost every one of these players is involved in high level football on a regular basis. I don't think that is a problem anymore."