I absolutely love the FFA Cup and everything it stands for. Except for one thing. The team songs.
The FFA Cup was a brilliant way of reconnecting the top of the game (the A-League) with its roots. Obviously, there are many other of things we ought to be doing – not least promotion/relegation – to fully realise that reconnection, but the FFA Cup is an excellent beginning.
For starters it gives us A-League die-hards some different teams to watch in this endless pre-expansion era, with interesting new players. Every team that makes it as far as the Round of 32 has some players good enough for A-League and, as I’ve written before, expansion need not be held back by a fear of spreading the talent too thinly. There’s plenty out there and some genuine stars coming through the youth ranks already.
The various NPL clubs get great exposure also and, whenever interviewed, the various coaches, players, presidents et al are always very keen to tell the national audience what it is that makes their club special (the best souvlaki or cevapi for example). They blaze with passion and pride for their history and achievements, their deep roots in their community and everything else that makes them unique.
But then it all comes apart, when they sing their team song.
So many different clubs with individual characteristics, all singing exactly the same song in victory.
It usually starts with someone banging an upturned esky. Then…
Hail, Hail [insert name of club] is here
What the hell do we care?
What the hell do we care?
Hail, Hail [insert name of club] is here
What the hell do we care now?
For it’s a grand old team to play for
And it’s a grand old team to see
Coz if you know your history
It’s enough to make your heart go, Oh Oh Oh
We don’t care what the animals say
Wha the hell do we care now?
We only know, if there’s gonna be a show
Then [insert name of club] will be there
As often as not, the end of the song sees a bare chested chap step forth and roar:
“Was it one?”
“No!” comes the mass response.
“Was it two?”
So it goes until the desired number of goals is reached, and then some freestyle pandemonium to conclude.
All excellent TV of course, but seriously – the same song being sung by so many clubs?
Do they have no shame? I’ve been hearing that same song sung by a million different clubs since I was about six. It was originally Celtic’s song (ripped off from the Pirates of Penzance who ripped it off from Verdi’s Il Trovatore) so I wonder how many Australian Rangers fans have sung it over the years, not knowing their blasphemy.
But how hard is it to write your own team victory song? All you have to do is pick a stirring tune and change the words.
For example, the mighty Avoca FC Over 35 and 45 Gummysharks have a victory song to the tune of the old Hercules cartoon:
Gummysharks
Heroes so old and hoary
Gummysharks
Living on ancient glory
With the strength of ten
Old and feeble men
Pacers in our hearts
Soft and dangly parts
Of Avoca, Gummysharks!
It gets sung with much gusto and passion, not least because we know no-one else has it.
The Avoca Premier League boys also have their own truly original song which ends with a Can-Can and is always great to hear. I actually feel ripped off when we lose and have to listen to a winning team singing covers!
So come on all you National Member Clubs, and all you district association clubs! If you want to tell us how unique and special you are, start with a decent song!
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Adrian’s latest book The Fighting Man is in the shops right now or available through Booktopia. Adrian also wrote Mr Cleansheets.
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