Position vacant: football striker
Start: immediately
Location: Parramatta, NSW
Team: Western Sydney Wanderers
Competition: Hyundai A-League
Salary: minimal
Note: candidate must hold an Australian passport or permanent residency

Western Sydney Wanderers are seeking an exciting football striker that can dribble a football at least 5 metres, has the determination to take on a defender and can shoot on target. No prior experience necessary but will be viewed favourably. A determination to shoot at goal and the ability to run faster than a turtle is essential.

This is an exciting opportunity for an up and coming young striker to join a young team that has aspirations to make a significant dent in the Australian sporting market. The Wanderers boast an ambitious midfield with international and rising local stars. They can pass pretty accurately too, and just need someone to shoot the ball at the goal and get it past a keeper every now and then.

Currently the Wanderers boast a high count of balls in the penalty area and even shots at goal. However the percentage of these hitting the target is arguably the lowest in the A-League. The Wanderers are seeking to rectify this situation by having more options in the attacking department. Western Sydney have only scored 5 goals (1 an own goal) in 8 games. This is a situation that needs to be rectified asap if the team wishes to make the finals and have an impact on the league in their debut season.

An opportunity to became a local cult hero is available for the right candidate. The fans are crying out to cheer someone’s name when they score a goal in front of the Red and Black Bloc - something that hasn’t happened yet. If you want to instantly become famous, then this is the right opportunity for you.

The successful applicant needs only to play once a week and there is opportunity to travel all over Australia and internationally (ie New Zealand...). Get in quick because this chance may not last long. Convincing the head coach may prove difficult, but persistence is the key to be successful in this role. If you score a bag of goals, surely you can’t be ignored right? Right?

I hear Harry Kewell isn’t doing much these days....