Now “Little Kaiser” Michael Ballack could be taking a run Down Under with Western Sydney Wanderers if the FFA can hammer out a deal with the Germany legend.

Three representatives from the four biggest leagues in the world - if only we could lure a former La Liga great we’d be in seventh heaven.

What to do? Say it’s great for the A-League and leave it at that?

Or take a totally juvenile approach, rate each signing on a bunch of arbitrary and meaningless categories and see which club got the best deal?

You guessed it – it’s a marquee shootout. Booyah!

1. Best On-Field Credentials
Sure it’s churlish to say only one of these big guns is a World Cup winner but we will anyway. Del Piero scores big points for lifting the trophy in 2006, notching up 19 seasons with Serie A giants Juventus - where he is their all-time leading goalscorer – picking up six scudetti and taking home a champions league title. Meanwhile, former Germany captain and Chelsea midfielder, Ballack, is a giant of the Bundesliga and EPL and a veteran of two World Cups. Heskey might not be in the same stratosphere but as a survivor of three World Cup campaigns and with 62 England caps to his name Jets fans can feel rightly chuffed with their signing.
Rating: ADP 10, Ballack 8, Heskey 6

2. Lastability
Is that even a word? Let’s face it all three of them have long forgotten how they celebrated their 30th birthdays, although at 37 Del Piero has a few more candles on the cake than Heskey (34) and Ballack (35). Now that Kevin Muscat has hung up his boots, the likelihood of all three remaining on the park for the entire season has dramatically improved. Del Piero will also be grateful he has Terry McFlynn on side and not sliding in for the opposition. Used to bowling over defenders like they were ten pins, Heskey won’t have any trouble with the physicality of the league. He gets in on the numbers – just - having played 29 games last season to Del Piero’s 28 and Ballack’s 25.
Rating: Heskey 9, ADP 8, Ballack 7

3. Biggest Cult Hero
Arise Sir Heskey. The Jets target man is in a contest of one here. Sure, Ale has charmed us with his punctured English and Ballack has that cool death stare that might be fun for theme parties. But only Heskey has a Mr Men character named after him – Mr Sitter. Regardless of his on-field contribution we’re backing the former England international to provide the giggle factor the league has been sorely missing. A few years ago The Sun ran a page of jokes about the misfiring marksman including one about the prisoner on Death Row in Utah who was allowed to select his firing squad. He chose Heskey. If he can keep a smile on his face after that then it’s going to be a fun ride. Jets fans can also look forward to expanding their vocab with words and phrases such as Heskeyanity, the Heskey Rule and Heskeynite. And keep an eye out for a black-market in Heskey-themed merchandise to hit the Hunter. Now that would be Emilesque!
Rating: Heskey 10, ADP 9, Ballack 6

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