Now “Little Kaiser” Michael Ballack could be taking a run Down Under with Western Sydney Wanderers if the FFA can hammer out a deal with the Germany legend.

Three representatives from the four biggest leagues in the world - if only we could lure a former La Liga great we’d be in seventh heaven.

What to do? Say it’s great for the A-League and leave it at that?

Or take a totally juvenile approach, rate each signing on a bunch of arbitrary and meaningless categories and see which club got the best deal?

You guessed it – it’s a marquee shootout. Booyah!

1. Best On-Field Credentials
Sure it’s churlish to say only one of these big guns is a World Cup winner but we will anyway. Del Piero scores big points for lifting the trophy in 2006, notching up 19 seasons with Serie A giants Juventus - where he is their all-time leading goalscorer – picking up six scudetti and taking home a champions league title. Meanwhile, former Germany captain and Chelsea midfielder, Ballack, is a giant of the Bundesliga and EPL and a veteran of two World Cups. Heskey might not be in the same stratosphere but as a survivor of three World Cup campaigns and with 62 England caps to his name Jets fans can feel rightly chuffed with their signing.
Rating: ADP 10, Ballack 8, Heskey 6

2. Lastability
Is that even a word? Let’s face it all three of them have long forgotten how they celebrated their 30th birthdays, although at 37 Del Piero has a few more candles on the cake than Heskey (34) and Ballack (35). Now that Kevin Muscat has hung up his boots, the likelihood of all three remaining on the park for the entire season has dramatically improved. Del Piero will also be grateful he has Terry McFlynn on side and not sliding in for the opposition. Used to bowling over defenders like they were ten pins, Heskey won’t have any trouble with the physicality of the league. He gets in on the numbers – just - having played 29 games last season to Del Piero’s 28 and Ballack’s 25.
Rating: Heskey 9, ADP 8, Ballack 7

3. Biggest Cult Hero
Arise Sir Heskey. The Jets target man is in a contest of one here. Sure, Ale has charmed us with his punctured English and Ballack has that cool death stare that might be fun for theme parties. But only Heskey has a Mr Men character named after him – Mr Sitter. Regardless of his on-field contribution we’re backing the former England international to provide the giggle factor the league has been sorely missing. A few years ago The Sun ran a page of jokes about the misfiring marksman including one about the prisoner on Death Row in Utah who was allowed to select his firing squad. He chose Heskey. If he can keep a smile on his face after that then it’s going to be a fun ride. Jets fans can also look forward to expanding their vocab with words and phrases such as Heskeyanity, the Heskey Rule and Heskeynite. And keep an eye out for a black-market in Heskey-themed merchandise to hit the Hunter. Now that would be Emilesque!
Rating: Heskey 10, ADP 9, Ballack 6

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4. Coup of the Century
With all due respect to Heskey and Ballack, it’s Del Piero’s signature that has world football talking. Even the Taiwan News couldn’t resist running banner headlines. True, most early international reports went something along the lines of “what the….?” But that just underlines his coup status. For sheer audaciousness, though, don’t rule out the late run by Ballack and his WSW bid team. The fledgling club already had a full quota of foreign signings when it managed to pull an extra spot out of its FFA to take the whole league by surprise. Close but not good enough.
Rating: ADP 10, Ballack 8, Heskey 7

5. Water Cooler Potential
Del Piero will prompt some fiery “he’s ours” debates between Sydney FC members and the Euro-snobs, while there’ll be plenty of verbal arm-wrestling over whether Heskey is a waste of space or an inspired choice. But we think Ballack is the dark horse for this award. The former Chelsea great has never strayed far from controversy whether it’s bagging out former teammates or incurring the wrath of the game’s governing body. Like the time he grabbed a megaphone and led Leverkusen fans in some abusive chants against their Schalke 04 rivals. Committed club man or a bad role model for the kiddies? Then there was his decision to end his international career two games short of the century, labelling an offer to make up the shortfall with a couple of friendlies as a “farce” and disrespectful. A short-sighted fool or a moral giant? Head to the nearest water cooler and discuss.
Rating: Ballack 9, ADP 7, Heskey 7

6. Best Trivial Pursuit Subject
Tricky one to be honest and it really depends on whether you like your questions leaning towards the more lurid or quirky. Football fans are a pretty eclectic bunch so we figure a bit of each. Any one of the following would be a good conversation starter. Which World Cup winner once contemplated being a lorry driver in order to see the world? Name the former Die Mannschaft captain who was told as a student his body type was best suited to speed skating. And, which former EPL star’s wife once earned a crust as a part-time waitress in a Liverpool lap-dancing bar? If you can worm one of these into the next poll on who is Australia’s preferred prime minister you’ll be doing us all a favour.
Rating: 8 all round.

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7. Best Post Match Interview
Ballack speaks fluent English (and Russian for that matter) and Heskey’s no slouch when it comes to facing up to the cameras but we have high hopes for some unwitting gems from Del Piero as he works on his English. Now that Miron Bleiberg has disappeared from our cameras a few more “I am exciting to be in Australia” from the Juve-great will fill the gap nicely.
Rating: ADP 9, Ballack 8, Heskey 6

8. Red Carpet Appeal
Brownlow what? Dally M who? Just imagine the next A-League awards night with Messrs Ballack, Heskey and Del Piero striding the red carpet – charming and urbane with just a hint of international sophistication. It’s all about what the WAGS are wearing at the other footy functions but they’ll have to be rolled in cling wrap to blow this line-up out of the water.
Rating: A perfect 10 all round. 

9. Unexpected Bonus
We pretty much know what to expect from Del Piero – that’s his appeal. Likewise for Heskey who is predictable in his total unpredictability. But if WSW can snare Ballack he might just be the gift that keeps on giving. Sure it’s not the sexiest signing but the German comes with added benefits off the park. He has a solid reputation as an expert analyst of the game making him an ideal-pick up for local sports media. And if he takes up former Germany coach Rudi Voeller’s suggestion to obtain his coaching licence he could use a stint in the A-League as a springboard to his management career. In fact consider that rumour officially started.
Rating: Ballack 9, ADP 7, Heskey 5

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10. Lasting Legacy
They’ve yet to kick a ball in the A-League so it would be hubris to rate their legacy potential - but what the hell. Just the talk of luring all three former internationals Down Under has put the domestic comp on the world stage. For that reason alone it’s points all round. Newcastle is on a winner with Heskey but we don’t see his influence extending much beyond the Hunter. And while Ballack is a great leader on the park there’s not enough information about any potential deal to judge his long-term impact. It’s hard to go past Del Piero for this one. Let’s face it a whole NATO unit couldn’t tame our football-hating media yet somehow Ale has charmed the headlines off the other codes. Even the Sydney Morning Herald went all Gazetta on us. He’s doused simmering tensions between Australia and Italy over ‘that’ penalty and if he can manage to reunite old and new football, or even broker a temporary ceasefire, his next assignment should be special envoy to the Middle East.
Ratings: ADP 10, Heskey 6, Ballack 6

Final score: ADP 88, Ballack 79, Heskey 74.

We declare Alessandro Del Piero the KING OF THE A-LEAGUE MARQUEES!