You know, it’s pretty darn difficult to win an award when you haven’t even been nominated.  At least, that’s what I tell myself when year after agonising year I am neither recognised as the 'Sexiest Man Alive' nor bestowed 'Bachelor of the Year' status.

Sure, I could get a two-hundred dollar haircut, wear some sharper threads and even try a little man-scaping, but unless I’m actually up for consideration such desperate measures would be all for nought.

As such, it is much better, at least to my way of thinking, to instead do nothing and then whinge about the result afterward.  Feel free to put it down to my English heritage if you like.

But it is not just your humble blogger that can be overlooked for such deserved awards.  Even the most successful club in Australian football history can be snubbed under the right circumstances.  Which is precisely what happened on Monday night at the Queensland Sports Awards.

According to the esteemed judging panel of the Queensland Sports Federation (also known as QSport) the all-conquering Brisbane Roar’s achievements were not worthy of ‘Team of the Year’ status.  Instead that honour went to local Super Rugby representatives Queensland Reds.

This unexpected outcome was justified by Courier-Mail executive sports editor and member of the judging panel, Brian Burke.  “We went for the Queensland Reds because we considered, in a very tough decision, they won a competition over three continents – in South Africa, Australia and New Zealand.”

The only people more baffled than fanatical football folk by that logic are the good people at the International Geographical Union – after all, since when has New Zealand ever been considered a separate continent?

But I digress.

The point that I wish to make is that a somewhat piddly injustice has been perpetrated against my beloved Brisbane Roar FC and I intend to whinge about it with all passive-aggressiveness a half-English, one-eyed football nut can muster.

In my opinion, this injustice did not occur in awarding the ‘Team of the Year’ honour to the Reds – one of the things I learned at high school in addition to basic geography was that it is always unwise to pick a fight with the rugby team.

No, I believe the unjustness involved the nomination process which effectively results in only one team from a particular club being considered for this particular award, and certainly prohibits two teams from the same club being considered conjointly.

Now in fairness to the organisers of the awards, and this was painstakingly pointed out to me by several people, this is because the award is for ‘Team of the Year’ and not ‘Club of the Year’.  It’s a semantic distinction that I don’t wish to lessen or ignore.  I mean if a bad tradesman blames his tools, then surely only a spoilsport blames the rules when the result goes against them.

But still, wouldn’t it be great if the W-League teams and A-League teams could have somehow been nominated and awarded conjointly as Queensland’s best sporting ‘team’?

After all, in a rather contrived semantic twist, they did both team up to win championships under the same Brisbane Roar brand.  That’s got to count for something, right? Right?

Of course, arguing semantics is pointless and I know I must face reality. It is highly unlikely that that the two teams could ever truly be considered as one.

As the club itself cheerfully pointed out to me the squads are completely separate, comprised of different players and coached by different staff.  To the Roar’s credit they also told me, “it is not appropriate to put the two squads together as you diminish their respective achievements.”

This is a prudent point and one that any reasonable person would accept.  However, we football folk aren’t always reasonable.  Some might even argue that being unreasonable is part of our rather laddish charm.

As such, I shall seek to pre-empt the inevitable anti-football accusations that usually accompany the perception our game has once again been snubbed.  After all, at the very same award ceremony, Ange Postecoglou was recognised as ‘Coach of the Year’ and the A-League Grand Final was deemed ‘Sports Event of the Year’.

So instead of criticising the ‘Team of the Year’ award itself, what I believe we need is an award that more accurately acknowledges the achievement of operating two very successful teams, one male and the other female, under the same roof.

An award that in its oh-so-delicate wording doesn’t lessen the achievement of either side but instead views the whole as being greater than the sum of the individual parts.  An award that if it were held in the not-too-distant future, my beloved Brisbane Roar would be guaranteed of winning.

And in the same vein your humble blogger needs an award that doesn’t preclude him from being nominated simply because he doesn’t conform to the commonly accepted standard of male beauty.  Something along the lines of ‘The Thinking Woman’s Idiot’ perhaps.