He's 35 here. THIRTY-FIVE, goddammit. That's football's equivalent of zimmer-frame age. He should be having a hot cup of Milo and a moan about the ABC, not throwing himself upside down and challenging gravity to punch on with him.

We should work out more. 


The one against China for the Socceroos in the 2015 Asian Cup wasn't his first, of course.

The Socceroos' greatest ever goal scorer earned Everton's goal of the season in 2007/08 with this effort, against Chelsea no less.

When you have the goalscoring record he does though, this might not even trouble his top ten of all-time. Hang on, we think we feel another feature coming on...